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I need some CIO help

This question is only for moms who have done CIO. (Please). Let me give you some info. Number one...I hate to hear my child cry. I hate to let him cry. It makes me feel awful. He is 16 weeks old. Now the reason why I am giving into CIO, (not w/out some intervention) is bc I have to take him to work with me. I cannot physically do my job with him here, when he won't sleep. He screams, and screams everytime I lay him down. I have a job to do taking care of 2 other children, and will sometimes spend hours trying to get him to go to sleep, whether it be for a nap, or nighttime. I got reprimanded just last week for having the door shut trying to get him to nap. My bosses don't think I can watch their children, door closed. I understand. I need to know exactly how to do it, when to do it, how long I should wait to go in, if I should pick him up, when I should, how long I should.everything. pls no bashing. I have to do something.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Oct. 27, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (11)
  • I am the original poster. Did forget to mention, I have to do overnights, many times, back to back 2-4 days in a row. I also EBF, so it would not serve to have a sitter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • Never at this age. Even Ferber himself who started CIO says not until they are AT LEAST 6 months old. Sorry I can't help with it. Try getting a sling or other baby carrier so he can be held and close to you while you are taking care of the other children or reconsider your work arrangement. It is obviously not working for your son the way it is right now and IMO he is the most important thing right now.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 8:19 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • He is definitely the most important thing in my life. Sling..not going to work the boy weighs almost 20 lbs at 16 weeks, and I can't carry him around all the time. I don't want to let him do it.(CIO) I really just don't have a choice. That is why I need advice from ppl who have done it. I cannot also change my work arrangement. Trust me, my husband is sick of hearing how I want to stay at home with him because it is so stressful, but like many Americans, we just can't afford it. I am not getting any sleep with him bc he has started to wake many times bc he is not self soothing, and have to take care of two boys starting at 630 am until 800 pm with no breaks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I hear that you're in a tough predicament. However, you can't really let him cio at work in the first place. Perhaps there are other options? Could you let him nap in a carrier (like a baby bjorn or whatnot)?

    How old are the children you watch? Can you wait until THEY are asleep to put your son down? It'd be an odd sleep schedule, but it could be done. With time, he would begin to go to sleep easier.

    If you do choose cio, Ferber is the gentlest method, even if I don't like it. :) He also does not recommend cio before six months.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 8:27 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I would try the sling or a swing for him to sleep in when not at home. With the CIO, I would start with 1 min for a week and work your way up till he gets the hint. With my oldest it too till 15 min. and it broke me heart but she got the hint. I also found with my oldest the coolness of the mattress woke her up and if my body was touching her when I was no longer touching her she would wake up when I laid her down. If you have a blanket that you can comfortable wrap him while you are nursing and make sure the breast is the only thing he touches directly. That might help get him down to sleep better.
    Now my youngest CIO didn't work, she is a more sensitve girl. I found sitting next to her crib and singing to her for 3 nights while she cryed was what it took. She screamed the entire time to the point of hysteria if I just left her in there. When I would sing and sit near her I wouldn't look at her or touch cont. . . . .
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 8:29 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I am not trying to bash but he is not tired it sound like, he wants to do something other than sleep. Slings would work 20 lbs would not be that bad and if you cannot work something out with the boss may be you should look for another job. Stay home apply for some assistance to make it through until you can go back to work. It is not the end of the world if you need assistance to do what is right for you family. I used PA to stay home and now go to college it is not a lot but it helps. Sorry but that is the best advice I can give.
    PsychMommie

    Answer by PsychMommie at 8:29 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • except for the first night, I put my finger threw the bars for her to be able to reach for me if she wanted. She cried but could calm herself then start crying again. But at least she wasn't terrified and she would fall asleep after awhile, I think 30-45 min at first. But she did get the hint after 3 night and I didn't have to sit for so long. I really hope this helps you. Good luck.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 8:31 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • I was planning on doing controlled comforting..not just leave him in there to cry for hours on end by himself. I also, would not start him on this method while at work, but would do it when I had time off. He does not like to be in a swing, and will not sleep in a swing. He slept in it once..when he was 2 days old. I have carried him in a carrier..and it kills my back. I am not trying to be unappreciate for the advice given, but I need some advice on how to get him to sleep.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • "but I need some advice on how to get him to sleep."

    Give it time. That's the ONLY thing that's going to work. You just need to change your expectations of him. He's doing what he's supposed to. He's too young for CIO.
    Arisce

    Answer by Arisce at 11:49 PM on Oct. 27, 2009

  • You COULD try not letting him nap or sleep at all when you're home so that he's too exhausted to do anything BUT sleep when you're at work, no crying involved.

    I tried CIO for one week. It failed miserably and my doc said not to bother, that it does more harm than good.

    Can you change your schedule somehow so baby can be home with dad while you're working? That really would be the best solution, that you are not with him for that time period.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:00 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

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