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How would you handle this?

Just ran into a question about a religious family encountering a gay son, the father seems to be furious and don't know what to do, what would you ladies recomend for this family in turmoil? How would you religious ladies that think this is a sin and a choice deal with this situation?

Telling a child that if they are gay they will not be accepted for being themselves is very detremental to his future, you can state your non acceptance of the lifestyle but would you be able to share in his life, instead of separating from it? Wouldn't you put your beleives aside for the sake of your childs happiness, or would your beleifs take precedence over this relationship you have been nurturing for years?

 
older

Asked by older at 11:05 AM on Oct. 28, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
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Answers (63)
  • I responded tot hat thread. What a sad situation for that boy. I am totally accepting of gay people. I really hope she took my advice, and just lets him be himself. He needs lots of love and support right now.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 4:14 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • There is absolutely nothing my child could do that would alter my love for him. If he were to be gay, my beliefs wouldn't change, but neither would my love for him. My child's wellbeing and happiness would take precedence over everything. I would turn it over to God and continue my relationship with my son. I would still encourage him to find a Christian spouse and do all of the same things with his life that I would've wanted for him were he heterosexual, but I couldn't be alienated from my child. That is something I just couldn't bear.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:11 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • You already know my personal feelings on this. Your child should come first. And their happiness.
    Just letting you know I am with you on this.
    Brace yourself for the Trolls though.
    Princessofscots

    Answer by Princessofscots at 11:12 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • It is very easy for me to sit on my Christian soap box and say God loves everybody I would love and accept him. I have not been in this situation and I will not be in this situation because my son is very heterosexual so it is unfair for me to say exactly what a person would say or think.

    I will say, in the last few years I have thought more about the families. It seems nobody wants to understand and care about their feelings or beliefs. I hear a blanket I love my son and you should not throw your beliefs on him. Putting aside your beliefs is hard for some.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Brace yourself for the Trolls though.
    __

    sorry if my response is unwanted, I was unaware you have to agree with the OP or else be a troll.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Windy, I am so glad to hear this, but encouraging him to be something he is not would be asking him to be living his life as a lie.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:15 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Ladies I am always prepared for the trolls.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:16 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • sorry if my response is unwanted, I was unaware you have to agree with the OP or else be a troll. \
    __________________________________________

    I never said you had to agree with the OP. These topics tend to bring out the less than friendly individuals that prefer to attack the OP, than answer the question.
    Princessofscots

    Answer by Princessofscots at 11:19 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Continuing to love and have a relationship with your son even though he is doing something you don't personally agree with or believe in isn't casting aside your beliefs. God still loves us even though on a daily basis each and every Christian on this earth sins in some fashion. God tells us He doesn't see one sin as being more grievous than another so if I want love and forgiveness from God I'm going to give it. I will lay the foundations as best I can while my son is under my care. When he is an adult he has his own decisions and choices to make. I wouldn't lie and tell my son that I believe God approves of his choices any more than I would tell him God thought it was okay to have sex with anyone outside of marriage, but I'm smart enough to understand that trying to "preach the preferences" out of him would serve no purpose other than to push him further away from God and myself. Again, something I couldn't bear.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:19 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • This post could've been in reference to my son doing anything that would not be God's original plan for us and I would've answered the same.......be it murder, drug abuse, suicide, etc.

    Older, what I meant was that I would still encourage him to not give up on his dreams if that were to include be in a family, become a father, etc. I would still prefer that his spouse be a Christian, regardless of sex, and I don't know of any mother in the world that doesn't dream of being a Grandma one day. I didn't mean that I would encourage him to live as someone he doesn't feel he is, if that makes sense.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:24 AM on Oct. 28, 2009

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