It seems there is SOMETHING about 2 years after placement that seems to be the "AHA!" moment for many birth moms to realize that MOST LIKELY they COULD have parented their child. It seems to me (an outsider POV) that for one thing, the mother's life has drastically changed from where she was 2-3 years ago (pregnancy included) and for another thing, she realizes that her "baby" is gone (as in growing up, not "vanished") and that there is a toddler somewhere learning to say Mommy, and running up into their adoptive parents arms to say Hi! I wuv you! THIS would be the MOST heart-breaking part of it FOR ME. It breaks my heart knowing that our own son's birth mother is missing these things.Answer Question
Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:34 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by MommaRox4683 at 2:37 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by Southernroots at 2:59 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
This is an interesting question, for me I can't say it was an AHA moment but maybe in an subconscious kind of way, I was in denial of my feelings for nearly 15 years. I think that 2 years later my denial was full force, but my subconscious mind knew I was really hurting.
After relinquishment I tried to get my life together but within in months I dropped out of college because I had no drive or motivation to continue, partied, drank and just couldn't seem to get my head on straight. I got pregnant about 18 months after I relinquished my first son, I was 19 still with no lifeÂ changes and I was bound and determined to raise him. My story of relinquishment is similar to some others, and I think for me the 2 year mark wasn't so much a realization but to redeem myself to those that said I couldn't parent, that I couldn't have a lasting marriage with the same man, that I couldn't do what I really wanted.
Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:07 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 3:40 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 3:46 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by onethentwins at 5:54 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:03 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 7:49 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
I have thought about your question all afternoon.It was around two years it really hit me that I was clearly worthless.Who else doesn't get to keep her child without having actually been a bad mother.I slept very little in those 2 yrs trying to understand what was so wrong with me,,but keeping a 4.0 I had to show I had some value,then I realized it was me-I was worthless..So I had a very serious suicide attempt.I recovered and had some poor therapy and tried twice more all the while grad.with honors and graduating from grad school.I applied nothing I learned in grad school to me.I was the worthless exception.Tried twice more then had my 25 yr old.He changed my life.While all the more heartbroken by realizing exactly what I lost I was more motivated to be fine for him. I started excellent therapy.It is along never ending road but for me therapy is/was the answer. Off topic but yesterday I began to understand cont
Answer by drfink at 8:40 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
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Anyone here a birth mother? I'm finding it hard to cope.