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How do you love more than one child?

My hubby and I just found out a few weeks ago we are expecting #2! We are excited about it, and were trying for it! but last night in one of my emotional episodes i got to thinking, how am i going to love this baby as much as i love my daughter? I have wanted kids for as long as i can remember, so when i couldnt get pregnant with my daughter i was devistated. We did fertility treatment and here she is today 18 months and the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. I love her more than life itself! I just dont know how i am going to love this baby as much as i love her! I cried all night over it! How do you women do it? I am acting like i am the first person to ever have more than one kid! I am just worried that i will treat this one like a "red headed step-child" and i dont want to! HELP! am i just being pregnant?! LOL My mom has 5 kids and they all have 2 kids, but im worried!

 
babymaddy

Asked by babymaddy at 2:56 PM on Oct. 28, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (11)
  • Remember before you had your first baby and you knew you would love her a lot? And then she came and now you love her more than you ever thought possible. If someone tried to tell you before you had a child how much you would love them it would be impossible to explain. It will be the same with your second. You will wonder before the baby comes how you can love them as much as your first, and then when that baby is here you will know that you have as much love in your heart for your second baby as your first. And giving your daughter a sibling is the best gift she can have, one that will last a lifetime.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:22 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I'm 19 weeks with my 2nd dd and I have the same worries!
    mommacierra

    Answer by mommacierra at 2:57 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I know exactly what you mean! I got preg. when my 1st daughter was 6 mos. I was devistated and thought about how unfair it is to her, but now I'm just hopefull and excited to see how she will like having a sister and a friend. I know she won't be as bored. But she is still my babygirl and nothing can replace the love I have for her.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 2:58 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I worried too..but then I saw the ultrasound and was in love from then on...
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 3:00 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I have three kids- I love all of them. Love is not like a cake where everyone gets a smaller slice when you add another person. There is always enough love to go around. When you have your next baby, you will have more than enough love for both. Trust me! ;)
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 3:01 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I'm pregnant with number 4. You do just love them all. It makes sense to wonder how it's possible, but really, once the baby gets here, you will see, you can love more than one child. Sometimes it might even feel as if you love the new one more, it's the hormones and the guilt of having wondered if it was possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I felt the EXACT same way. I thought we were going to ruin my daughter's life, who was also about 18 months when I got pg with #2...I completely freaked about it, there was no way on earth I could love another as much. Guess what? I was totally wrong. I didn't feel it for my whole pregnancy, I mean, I was happy and excited to give her a sibling, which is a wonderful gift, but I was uneasy and unsure....until the second he was born. I love him as much as my daughter, which is more than can ever be measured, and he didn't take away from her, he added to all of our lives and he completes our family. I think its very common to feel as you do, and go ahead and feel it and have this very special time with just your daughter, but I PROMISE you, once #2 arrives you will laugh at yourself. I know now that even if I had 10 kids I would love them all. There's no limit, just like PP said.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 3:09 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • A mother has an endless capacity for love I think. Whether its #1 or #5 there will always be enough to go around. The simple fact that you are worrying about it means that you are a good mom and will love this baby just as much as your other child and no one will feel left out. Congrats on the baby to be and kudos for being a caring mommy!
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 6:05 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Don't divide your love, multiply it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I felt the same way when i was pregnant with my daughter and said it all the time even on the way to the hospital. The second she was born i knew. There is no way to explain it but when you hold them and hear them cry the first time, you realize wow now i know how other moms do it :)
    jnsdrf

    Answer by jnsdrf at 7:32 PM on Oct. 28, 2009