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In serious need of some advice ( a little TMI)

Long story short. My parents have been married for 24 years. I'm 21, my daughter is 6 months, I've been living at home because my daughters dad left us. Well my parents are getting divorced. My dad moved out yesterday, so now it's just me and my mom. My mom is known to make up crazy stuff and over react about stupid things (we just don't get along at all). Well I arranged to move in with my dad this weekend. My mom is throwing a fit saying that my dad watches porn (which he admitted), she thinks it's going to move into something worse (like a pedafile). My dad says he watches it because him and my mom no longer have sex, it wont be anything more than that and it's a normal guy thing and said he'd stop. (my dad has never lied and my mom is always making up crazy stuff). So, I don't know if I should still move in with my dad or if I should find another place to go. I can't afford to be on my own yet. Any advice?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Oct. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • whats wrong with your father watching porn? its a normal human thing to do...especially guys.
    and he is now a single man.

    I dont see anything wrong with you moving in with your father.

    Sounds like you are a very observant person and would have no problem spotting trouble if it was ever there.

    I dont see the connection you mother is trying to make between porn and pedofille

    good luck
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 4:13 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Well i know lots of guys who watch porn and even some girls. None of the ones i know have turned into a petifile or anything like that. In some cases i guess that could happen but this is your dad. Do you really think that your dad would ever think of doing anything at all to you or your daughter? If you dont think that would ever happen then go to your dads. Im sure hes not gonna watch that stuff with you or your daughter in the same room. That would just be crazy. And i think i would rather my daughter have porn hid from her than to see fighting between me and my mother. Thats just what i think though. This is completely up to you. Good luck i hope it all works out for you.
    tiffany0317

    Answer by tiffany0317 at 4:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Men look at porn. It doesn't make them pedophiles. It's just something they do.

    Some women are like that. They are drama seekers. Everyone has a crazy person in her family who makes up stuff. Don't feel bad about it. There is one in my family too.

    You chose the house where you can best raise your child. Which house is near job opportunities, school opportunities, etc? Which house is calm and on a schedule your child can live with comfortably? Which house is in the safest neighborhood? Which house will have the fewest crazy people coming and going?

    Divorcing people demonize each other. i would live with the parent who is not going to put you in the middle or your child.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 4:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I have to agree. Watching porn is just something most men do, young and old. Shoot, there are females that watch porn. It means nothing about thier character. Porn is just fantasy, watching a fantasy played out or whatever. besides, don't you think if that were the case he would have tried something with you when you were little? or he would have kiddie porn on the computer or somewhere.

    good luck with what ever you decide.
    myownworld

    Answer by myownworld at 4:19 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Looking at adults having sex does not make one a pedophile.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 4:23 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • My man doesn't watch porn but maybe i'm alone on that. Let me ask you this: Why are you asking us--- if you're so comfortable with your Dad and his porn habit? The answer may lie in that or maybe not? Whatever you decide, good luck, it sounds like you've been dealing with some crap lately.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:24 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • as long as your dad is doing it in privacy and not like watching movies on the living room tv or with the computer/laptop in view. i say if he wants to do it and is in his room, maybe even with the door locked it wouldnt be a problem for me....but if its kiddy porn thats different. that is way different i wouldnt move in if that was the case, but i think your talking normal 18+ porn right? i hope. just your mom freaky out about that poped that idea in my head...sorry.
    Shannon85

    Answer by Shannon85 at 4:28 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • check your area for a housing authority or section eight. you can at least get on the wait list and stay there till you get things settled. i lived in one and many people only paid a dollar for rent and got a sixty dollar credit on their electric. the cap out there was 325 a month and only about 80 dollars for electric if you had to pay the whole amount. it went based on income and family size.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • I would say as long as you cannot physically see you dad watching the porn there is very little reason to worry. Porn isn't for everyone but an adult male (or female) watching two adults partake in sexual activities certainly does not make them a pedophile.


    Sounds like to me your mom may be trying to rally  you to her side. My parents divorced after 20 years when I was 19 years old and trust me I still get put in the middle sometimes.


    I'm sorry you are going through so much crap lately.

    kfroz0415

    Answer by kfroz0415 at 5:00 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • My parents have been divorced for over 13 years and STILL both bad-mouth each other and try to get me to take sides. It's been THIRTEEN YEARS....and they haven't spoken a word to each other in over 3 years and they STILL try to get me to pick sides.

    That's what I'm guessing your mother is trying to do.

    If your dad does it in privacy and it's not kiddie porn, let him be.
    madelyns_momma

    Answer by madelyns_momma at 5:44 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

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