I was molested as a child by my older brother. It was not "playing", he was 13- 17 while I was 5 - 9 that I recall.
Now that I'm a parent that wants my son to be eventually able to tell me anything (he's under a year) I realize I would be a hypocrite and not being honest with my feelings to never tell them what happened. It would explain a lot about my past behavior and issues, too. But I also am worried I'd break their hearts or ruin my family dynamics, or they'd never look at/speak to me the same. (My mom will remember when the neighbor accused him of molesting her, and maybe be angry that I did not fess up then, but, I was brainwashed) or worse, it is possible they will not believe me. I am also worried my sibling could come exact revenge on me over it as he is an unstable adult.
Would you want to know this about your child - even many years later? Should I just leave all of this alone, or what?
Asked by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Oct. 28, 2009 in Relationships
Answer by CarolynBarnett at 6:45 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by gdiamante at 6:45 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
I think you should tell for sure. It isn't your fault that anything happened. You were a child then but your an adult now and its your job to protect other children if you can. Pedophiles don't stop. There are probably more victims out there than you realize. I think that you need to sit down with your mom and dad to tell them what happened first. Then maybe have a family meeting with those you think need to know. I am sorry that it happend to you. I know what you are going through and I wish you all the luck in the world. I will pray for you and your family.
Answer by Frogbaby83 at 7:17 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by TheDiva320 at 7:24 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
I would wait until he is an adult to tell him, or if the issue comes up. Like he hears a hint about it and ask or asked about why he never sees his Uncle and such. Other then that wait till he is old enough to handle it maturely. Make sure you teach him how to properly respect himself and others and all about sex/protection. Ensuring your child feels comfortable telling you everything doesn't mean you have to tell them everything, just that you listen with an open heart to what he has to say and answer his questions honestly. You wouldn't tell him what you and his father did to create him in detail would you, no, so don't feel that you have to be an open book.
Answer by DevilInPigtails at 7:52 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by rhope4 at 9:11 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Oct. 28, 2009
Next question overall
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