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worried about their happiness

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid my girls are going to miss out on something vital during their lives, childhood especially, because they have no father. Are they more likely to be unhappy/depressed because of this? He does not want any part of their lives, and is in jail for beating on another woman. How can I give them a good life as a single parent and how and when can I tell them about their father?

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hayley_ezra08

Asked by hayley_ezra08 at 2:49 PM on Jun. 24, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • wow, hun, thats a hard one... do they have a grandfather or uncle who can step in? it is definitely been proven to be important to have some sort of father figure to fill that void (if it arises). other than that, about their father, i would just be age appropriately honest. honesty is always the best policy. that way there will be no accusations of falsehood later when they find out the truth. tell them, their daddy made some poor choices and has to pay the consequences. use it as a learning tool. maybe find some good books, or if you are really worried, try getting them into a good counselor. medicaid will pay if you have it, if not, there are children's counselors out there who will do discounted sessions....
    momsamillion

    Answer by momsamillion at 3:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • I have never met my spermdonner. And that is exaclty what he is to me. But I have had four great people be father-figures for me. One is my brother, who is 9 Years older than me, then my grandpa, who is dead as of three years ago, another the man I call Dad, he is my surrigate father, and I have only known him for about 6 years, and then there is my mom's boyfriend. I don't think I ended up to bad, and I know that when the time came I was bad with boys, but my mom never left me out or lied about him. She told me the good storied with the bad. When the time came and the spermdonner did wanna talk, I didn't want nothing to do with him. He knew where I was for 16 years, and didn't make any choice to see me. Then he wants me to go and see him, and no, I don't want any part in his life.
    Sorry, didn't mean to tell my life story. I guess just be honest, and give them everything you've got. They are not missing much! Good luck!
    onespoiledwife

    Answer by onespoiledwife at 3:16 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • It's VERY possible to have a good life with just a single mother as a parent. My mom did it with all 5 of us kids, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I mean, yeah, I know my dad and he's a GREAT guy, but the closeness and way we lived without him there made it better than if he would've been there. Your girls don't need to see their dad being mean to anyone or thinking it's ok to hit people. And if you were with him, it's not a very good example for them later on in life. I'm sure you are a beautiful woman and can find somebody else to be with who would love to be a father figure to your children!
    flutterby87us

    Answer by flutterby87us at 3:24 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • just make sure you communicate to eachother. my dad didn't want me and it did hurt but it didn't make or break my childhood. having my mom there for me and loving me made my childhood.
    dannersmell

    Answer by dannersmell at 4:09 PM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • Are your parents or brothers or sisters or even a brother in law avaible? You just to have be a mom and dad at once, dad usually does a lot of outdoor such as camping, shot rocket, play balls, road trips.

    A bad dad? it is better to have no dad.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 4:21 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

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