Advocating for your child's needs, how have you done that in schools? How can you do that with success?

Yes, I do, and other issues as well. My middle son had some major challenges when he was younger, he's my biological child, never in foster care, no divorce, but he had challenges. The teacher's were not the issue however, it was administration. They wanted me to put him on medication, and I refused. I actually had the teacher's support, but the administrators were angry, and put him in a full time special ed class to punish me! Long story and I won't go into all of the details. I ended up pulling him out of school and homeschooling, and the results were amazing. (I'm not saying anyone else should do this, and I know it's not an option for everyone, for us it worked) He went back to school 3 years later, a different child. He's now in college, works in a bank, an all around great kid. It can be very difficult to work within the system, but parents generally know their kids better than the professionals. Good luck!

My oldest in still in preschool, so I haven't dealt with that yet. For kids who have challenges like you mentioned, I understand that you can draw up a document called an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). ADD/ADHD is actually considered to be a type of disability, so the kids would be protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. In reality, you may end up having to make the same decision as PP if your child is not getting the treatment they deserve. I would not want to have to homeschool because I'm not sure I'd be good at it, but I would do it in a heartbeat if we decided the school was not a good environment for our kids.

I worked with this child who was not living with her biological parents. She wanted to but there were numerous road blocks. So she was with a grandparent instead. She had also been sexually assaulted. In the time I had known her, through a lot of hard work and therapy, she went from being a kid who had major behavioral issues in school to a child who had very little behavioral issues. But this was not good enough for the school. She would often zone out and doing school work was hard. Personally, it was a freakin miricle she wasn't throwing chairs from the second story window anymore. Yet the school was punishing her for not being able to concentrate. I tried to advocate and educate with little success. The teacher had her bottom line. This child did have medication but it wasn't medication that was going to heal the PTSD. Finding sensitive and success ways to educate teachers has always been hard for me.

I will keep reading the posts, because we may have some issues as my daughter gets older. She is a wonderful little girl, but has a rebellious streak and some behavioral issues. Her older brother (son of her bmom) has Asperger's syndrome, and after doing some reading about it I wonder if we'll learn someday that she has it. I have paperwork for an evaluation that I haven't turned in yet. It's like 20 pages - I'll have to wait until this semester is over.

I absolutely think that society in general, including teachers, is not always educated and sensitive to specific issues some children face. Adoption is still not considered an issue for many teachers and others. They assume that if a child has good adoptive parents, everything will be fine. Of course, having a good family is always a good thing, but, children struggle sometimes within the best of families.

As for advocating for your children, I believe that sometimes this is necessary. Educating teachers about issues that adopted or foster children, or any children for that matter, must be done with the greatest tact possible. Even then, I do not think it is easy., but as parents you need to do it. What if you printed out an article or two for a teacher to read? Or, if a child is in counseling, get the counselor to write up something for a teacher mentioning the importance of whatever you are advocating.

If a teacher refuses to help make things easier for a child, take your concerns to her supervisor. Give the teacherr a chance first, and before you speak to her supervisor tell her how serious you are. The best idea though is to first do all you can to educate a teacher.

I've printed out articles and spoken with teachers in conferences, even reviewed multiple times a week how my 7 yr old foster to adopt daughter is doing. In kindergarden (before she was placed with us) and in 1st grade (she moved in with us about a week before first grade started), she had huge discipline problems in school. I talked and talked and talked to the teacher and the whole year was a raging mess. The teacher complained constantly that she was singing in class. Well my daughter has RAD, PTSD, ODD and a few other issues to boot... and singing when stressed is a way she coped. The teacher refused to move her desk slightly away so she could continue to calm herself and make it through the day... BUT this year has been AWESOME! I was doubtful when the teacher sent home an assignment before school started to bring a baby photo to class the first day of school.... but since I've come to see that it's been AWESOME!

I must admit I was dreading this year because before school started, we get the note to bring a baby photo of yourself to school.

I just think people don't really GET that all the kids don't have the life that is "normal". I don't HAVE baby photos of my 7 yr old or my 23 yr old. At all. I have photos from kindergarden and just a couple of those at that....

One thing I've talked to my husband about doing when our dd's adoption finally is finalized is taking some of my children's books about adoption and reading them to her class - this will help the students AND the teacher to identify with the change... because DD wants her name to change slightly - the spelling of the first name - new middle names and last name.

Sometimes the teacher's outlook and willingness to be open is key. Advocating for our kids is paramount to their success - IMHO.

I will also add that this year - we've not had the huge discipline problems in class every day because the teacher has been willing to understand that our dd is having some huge issues - but also we've shared with her and she understands that while I work with her on homework, if it turns into a huge issues that's going to cause dd to go into a fit (she has huge screaming fits when things begin to stress her - which can scare my other kids) we just don't always do the homework. The teacher has really been willing to work with us on that this year and I've been so thankful. It's meant more peace at home and less stress to fight our way through the homework no matter what. She's been willing to grade what she's able to do before the end comes....

Let me add - she's never thrown a fit just to keep from doing school work - it's always something else.... and when that happens, we just don't keep fighting it any more.

The son I raised had an extremely understanding teacher one year in grade school. Think he was in the 4th or 5th grade that year. When I came to his classroom for an open house, I saw that my son's desk was further away from the other desk, by itself. His teacher said, "he needs more room to spread his things out." Unfortunately, that kind of teacher seems rare.

My daugher has three children, one of whom has some learning disabilities. If she had not worked so hard advocating on his behalf, getting him tutoring, etc., he'd never have made it through high school. She is fearless advocating for all three of his children when necessary.