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I am having a hard time trying to talk with my 9.5 yearold about friends.

She is sad, rarely gets calls or invites and feels very excluded. I am at my wits end. I work full time and am always willing to invite, kids have really become mean and I don't know how to help her. I have an older daughter who is not experiencing these issues, in fact the 9 year olds text and befriend her instead of their peer Help please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Oct. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • I really don't know how to help... Maybe get her involved in sports? Extracurricular activities that shes interested in? Don't only think school!
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 10:48 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Could you maybe talk with her teacher? Maybe she can give you insight on how things are for your daughter in school. Ask her to be frank with you, even if she thinks it may be embarrassing or make you defensive of your daughter.
    07upsydaisy

    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 10:48 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • it's good you are trying to help her, i had that problem as a child and nobody ever tried to help me. i even asked the guidance conselor and she didn't help. try getting her in sports or something, that may help.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 11:39 PM on Oct. 28, 2009

  • Now this sounds familiar I just went through this with my 11yr old. I noticed changes in his moods after we moved to a smaller town. It was almost as if he were depressed. Of course every time I asked him if everything was ok he would say yes to spare me any worry. This went on for several months and was getting worse. I took him on a Mother/Son date and he finally came clean and I was UPSET. Turned out the one kid he did befriend would ignore or make fun of him when they were at school because he wears glasses, but would come over after to play video games. I explained to him that he was better than that, that the only friend worth having was a true friend, and that friend would be worth the wait. I also told him, and I know some will disagree with me, that sometimes confrontation is ok that you have to stand up for who and what you are and never let someone make you feel ashamed. And then I prayed a lot.
    toyh

    Answer by toyh at 6:09 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • He found the courage to let the his so called friend know he was no longer welcomed in our house. He walks with his head held high now and although it took a little while he has finally started to fit in. Kids are cruel I hate to say that but its the truth. Just empower her and try to build up her self worth. once she starts to see herself as the wonderful young lady you see it will turn around for her. Keep the faith Mom and keep helping her and most importantly Pray
    toyh

    Answer by toyh at 6:15 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • i am having the same problem...my older daughters were fine.i also went to the school with no avail...how about girl scouts...low key everyone is friendly...or like everyone else said a sport..if she doesnt like competitive sports get her into something else.my daughter likes swimming.we did cheerleading this yr and she loved it.there werent any kids from her school.she does tennis but thats my type a personality sil idea...(it will be good for her in the future)she isnt very good but she looks cute in the out fit.
    cleo1977

    Answer by cleo1977 at 11:22 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I also recommend Girl Scouts. When we moved last year, we signed up for Girl Scouts because we didn't know anybody. My girl now has her troop sisters at school that she knows she can count on. She is also 9 1/2.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:13 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I would say get involved in something with camaraderie. Sports, girl scouts, dance, gymnastics, something that she's good at or interested in. Then offer to be the team mom. Make all the yummy snacks invite the other girls over for a party after winning something, accomplishing something any reason you can find to throw a great party.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Unfortunately I dont recommend Girl Scouts anymore. I thought it would be good for my daughter and try to get her involved. Well this particular group wasnt made to accept their sisters or treat them with kindness so she was ostracized there too. It really makes me sad. Weve tried choir, 4H and now a youth group at church....im hoping she will finally fit in here.
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 8:09 AM on Nov. 4, 2009

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