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I am so scared... :(

My ex is wanting more custody( one week here, one week there). His parents got him his attorney(who is known around here to be a wicked witch who always wins), I can't afford a lawyer(legal aid doesn't do custody situations), so now the judge ordered a guardian ad liam ($) and wants to move forward. I have raised and cared for these kids ever since they were born. Even when we were married, I did everything! So now he wants to take over. It's all about control with that man and the fact of not wanting to pay child support(he has to pay $ for my 3 and another child by another woman and he and his new wife just has a baby) He tells me we can avoid court, IF I give him what he wants! I believe that shuffling my kids back and forth is NOT a good thing! I have been trying to create stability in their life. I am deathly afraid of losing them! I don't drink, smoke, abuse them. He already gets them EVERY weekend!

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Asked by My3RaysofSun at 10:03 AM on Oct. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • honestly you're not losing them, but i'd go to court and stand up for what i thought was right and it's not a jury situation. tell the judge what you think about shuffling them and you should still get child support depending on how much you both make bc it should try to match his income to yours as best as possible. i wouldn't worry about it especially if you still have legal custody (soul custody)

    Answer by angevil53 at 10:07 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • actually laws are changing and i believe if he has found out that if the non custodial parent has the child for so many days (1 visiting days are counted for 5pm -9pm) they can get thier child support reduced to practically nothing now. because it shows that they have them half the time. If this is what he is trying to do please protect yourself and have some sort of arrangement so he has to pay half of EVERYTHING, including dr, activities, clothes, school, lunch, whatever it is so that you are not taken advantage of!

    A lot of dads are now trying this - they bump up thier visitations and then when they have enough "days" in the year the child is with them they go back to court and have child support reduced! but the mom is still stuck with daycare, dr bills, dentist bills, clothes (for mom & dads house) school activities, lunches, birthday party gifts, and any all other stuff! please see if some1 will do probono work!!

    Answer by roxyann76 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Honey DO NOT WORRY!!!! They NEVER take kids away from mommy more than necessary UNLESS he has profe that you are unfit. It sounds like you are a very fit mother. Represent yourself. Be honest, tell the judge that you cannot afford a lawyer & represent yourself. Tell him all you do for the kids, & explain how you do not agree w/ the scheduling he wants because you believe it will be an unstable for them. The weekend thing is how it should be. Heck, some kids only go to dads every OTHER weekend. So, unless he has serious argument against you, you have nothing to worry about. His lawyer can eat shit & die, she is just getting paid. I would not worry. Stand your ground, have profe of all the hard work you do & have been doing as their mother & that should be all you need. It is REALLY hard for the dad to take custody, it almost never happend unless he has VALID reason against you.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:18 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Does he have anything he could use against you? Just because he has a lawyer, does not mean he gets what he wants. Seriously. And by they way, it depends on where you live too & what our state's laws are. I share my daughter w/ her dad 50/50, but because i am primary parent, i get child support. Don't freak out just because he has a lawyer, i was in your shoes honey....& they laughed at my ex's attempt to get custody.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:21 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • The Guardian ad Litem and the Judge will decide what's best for the kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

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