Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

To Move or Not to Move, that is the question... my husband lost his job about 1 year ago and had to move 5 hours from home for work. We currently only see him on the weekends. We are playing with the idea of moving myself and my daughter back to the city with him. We currently live in a rural area and would be giving up our house and moving into a townhome. We would also be moving away from my parents, who have provided a lot of support and my daughter is very close to them. The job market here is not great and I am not sure if he could find something here, but he likes his job there and would like us to come. My parents, of course, are upset that we will be taking their granddaughter away...What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by kayleighsmom529 at 11:42 AM on Oct. 29, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Well thats a very hard situation my dear. But, you have to start your life now. or never. its your husband if it was just a boyfriend I would've said no. but its your husband you took vows for. I cant even imagine not seeing my husband everyday however he joined the army and we know he will be deployed often SO. it will be very difficult for me too. hun so i think its time to move with him.. im sure its very diffcult to be so far away. and on the weekends visit your family come down and stay with them very often. it will not be the same but it will work out hun

    Answer by Butterflykiss15 at 11:45 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • For this reason a man (or woman) leaves his parents and cleves to his wife. GO!! How dare your parents even voice such a guilt trip! If he likes his job, it seems stable and you three can afford a safe place to live GO

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • We live in Chicago. I think that cities are better for raising children; there are more options for schools, more cultural opportunities, city kids are more independent and "street-wise".

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:50 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • My husband is in the Air National Guard and got a job for them as a civilian...He loves working on the jets and I feel as his wife I should follow him. I married him before he joined the military, so I knew I was committing to follow him...but I do feel awfully guilty for moving my daughter away from her heart of course is telling me to go. We have already been apart for a year and he will be deploying to Iraq the beginning of next year and I really want to be with him before he leaves...

    Answer by kayleighsmom529 at 11:55 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I don't know that cities are better for raising kids, but I do think you should be with your husband. You won't be so far away from your parents that you can't visit for a weekend every so often, but it would be better for your daughter to be with her father and better for your marital relationship.

    Answer by missanc at 11:55 AM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Your daughter needs to be with her father much more than Grandparents. This is your decision not theirs. Your husband needs you and your child for support and you both need him. I don't know that cities are better places to live and I would never live in Chicago like a PP. My husband was lucky to find a great job in a smaller town with excellent schools. The schools in Cali sucked and we were in a big city. The only thing a kid would learn there was how to clean their glock or collect welfare. I do think you and your family belong together. Your family meaning you, your husband and child. It is not easy but you have to go where work is and your child deserves to see daddy everyday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I'm in agreement with everyone else and think you should go to be with your husband. 5 hours isn't that far away that you or your parents can't visit each other every now and then.

    Answer by Christina807 at 6:33 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Thanks everyone for your input...It is so hard to think my parents won't see my daughter everyday and they aren't making it any easier. My mom and I actually got into this afternoon after she said my husband is being inconsiderate for taking her granddaughter away from her and he's just trying to keep me from my family. We have been together for 11 years and I really think we need to be back together as a family. It isn't going to be easy for us, but we'll make it. :) Thanks again!

    Answer by kayleighsmom529 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.