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7 year old DS not making friends....

I'll try to keep this short! I am a single Mom of two boys--there is no involvement from their father (his choice), I have no family in the area (NONE). Yes I have a small group of friends here, but don't get out much because I work full time and devote the rest of it to my children. Anyway, I FINALLY got my 7 year old to open up a bit yesterday and he explained to me that he doesn't play with the boys in his class because they are boring. They play soccer and football during recess and he doesn't play because he got hurt bad during a soccer game and is afraid of getting hurt again. Anyway, he told me he would rather play by himself or play with the girls. I tried to explain that he can play those sports with the boys and he won't always get hurt. Am I right to be concerned that he's mainly playing with girls? He will play with the boys in our neighborhood sometimes (they are all older).

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Oct. 29, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Your son is the intellectual type...not a jock. He will thrive if you find him outlets that allow him to use his brain, as well as be active. Scouting is a good will teach him self-confidence and he will be stimulated intellectually as well as physically.

    Maybe the library has activities, too.

    Girls (for the most part) tend to be more quiet and play co-operatively. Your son may be more like that instead of playing loud, rough and competitively. 

    It would be a mistake to try to push him to be something he isn't.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • OP Here........He started scouts this year but isn't enjoying it---it's EXTREMELY unorganized (although I'm trying to keep an open mind with it).

    I don't think I'm trying to push him to be something he isn't--I hope I'm not and by reading any answers I get here hopefully I won't learn the opposite :) . I didn't force him to play soccer again this year (he did it for 4 years because HE wanted to)---I know he LOVED playing, he was always smiling on the field, laughing, having a great time but when he got hurt that was IT. Which I do understand. I would have been done with it too!!

    I'm trying to teach him that when he does have friends--boys or girls--they can't always do what HE wants to do. I babysit a boy his age one night a week and when they get together they do good until the other boy wants to ride my son's bike or wants to do something my son doesn't. I told him he has to get over that!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I would try to talk to the teacher and see if there are some other boys in the class that might enjoy some quieter games, like board games or legos, that you could send in for them to play. Definitely talk to his teacher and get her take on it - maybe she could do some pairing for projects, or rearrange the seating chart so he gets to know one or two of the little boys better. Ask him if there is a little boy he would like to invite over for a playdate - it may help him make friends if it's in a smaller setting or on his "home turf" Good luck!

    Answer by missanc at 3:03 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I guess I don't necessarily see the problem. Most of my friends at that age were boys because girls were "boring". I enjoyed playing sports, and just always got along better with boys because I was used to hanging out with my 2 male cousins who were close in age and my brother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • At his age, I wouldn't be concerned about it. Allowing him to play his way is a good thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

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