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what should I do?

I'll give you the short version of the situation:

My parents hate my boyfriend because he has status issues (with immigration) and they think we are bad for each other.

Everyone else that knows us, thinks we are great for each other and we both feel we have a strong relationship.

I live with my parents and I have a 1 month old daughter. They don't let me go anywhere with her, ANYWHERE. They dictate everything I do with her and they are constantly telling me I'm not a good mom.

They wanted me to split up from him but I didn't want to and yesterday my mom looked through my purse and found a letter I wrote to him and read it. She woke me up from a dead sleep and screamed at me, she called me names and threw out insults and accusations left and right and then told me to get out of her house. I started packing and she was fine until I started packing baby's stuff. Then she freaked out, screaming and crying to my step dad

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Oct. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • CONT:

    "don't let her take her!" and I kept reminding her that the baby is mine, not hers. She picked the baby up and wouldn't let me have her. Eventually it escalated to her jumping at me with her hands at my collarbone, almost at my throat and hitting me, I pushed her down and my step dad had to get between us. I ended up passing out and then my mom did a complete turn around and started saying she loves me and wants the best for me and doesn't want me to go.

    The three of us had a big convo and she proceeded to blame me for everything and was still pretty nasty.

    I want to get out of the house and move in with my boyfriend but I don't know if that's the right thing to do...what do you think?

    I'm almost 19 by the way

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • You need to move out.

    Answer by Gealach at 5:18 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • You are legal, and yes, definitely move out because it sounds like your parents' are trying to take over your baby, and treat you like a little girl. I'd do it! Or at least get a job, a baby sitter and rent an apartment based on your income.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Your mom has some control issues. I'm sure she does want the best for you but she also sees you has in her house and she makes the decisions. I know it will be rough but look at some assistance and try to move out. But make sure you ask your family to still be in your life. My mom was the same way for a long time with me. But I asked (and still do) for help. Baby sitting is a great help to you and her she feels needed and for you its free . Do you have a job? and way to at least provide some support for you and your child? I would suggest maybe a place on your own or even with another single mom. It would ease things for you. Also do you get child support from the father? if not contact your local Health and Human services they can get you assistance on that and other assitance needs.
    For your sake i would consider getting out on your own would be best for all.

    Answer by roxyann76 at 5:29 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I"m not sure where you are located but if you need any other help let me know in an email. This is not easy but also dont rush into other bad decisions. Good luck to you girly.

    Answer by roxyann76 at 5:30 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • This appears to be an abusive relationship. I suggest you find someplace else to live, if possible. Your mother has some issues.

    Answer by Guinhyvar at 5:36 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • A) Quit dating and having sex with your boyfriend that has "status issues" till they are resolved. B) get a job and move out of your parents house.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Your mom was violent towards you and don't you think for one second it didn't hurt your child. Get out now. Go to a shelter. Nobody would ever ask you to tolerate this abuse from a man so why take it from a family member? Get out and save yourself and your child. Your man will have to man up on his own, he will do what he has to do and that isn't your primary concern. You must be concerned about the physical safety and emotional well being of you and your baby. Even if you have to give up material possessions. See it as a burning building, it is that dangerous. Go now and don't talk to her again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • You may be counseled to file charges against your mom. I know it will hurt your feelings but it will probably help your custody in the long run as she may try to take your child from you legally.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • the child is yours, not your mothers. if she has done any harm to your child you need to report her and move out.. if you have a job and so does your bf, you need to move in w/ him...... please get your child away from you mom, it sounds liek she is jealous and as for immigration problems.. marry the boy... itll fasten the process especially if he is not illegal........ ..
    but you need to get the lil one away form her.. please.... she could even hurt you and then where would that lil baby be.

    Answer by jlouise03 at 10:07 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

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