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I'm a divorced mom; do I have the right to know when my ex husband is volunteering in my daughter's classroom?

The teacher says she doesn't "publish" the volunteer list. I'm not looking to see who has volunteered...I'm wanting to know when my ex is volunteering, so I can be prepared, as there have been "issues" in the past.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Oct. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • Whats the custody agreement. As long as he's not taking your daughter off school property without your knowledge, then I dont think you have the right to know. Unless hes a danger of some kind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Has he been a disruption to the class or signing her out of school or something? I don't think you have any right to know or to keep him from it unless it is already a judgment in court. If the teacher is not willing to tell you, maybe she thinks he's a help to have in the class room.  Is it really a school issue or a you issue? 

    carlye828

    Answer by carlye828 at 9:43 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Honestly, you don't have any more right to know when he volunteers than HE has the right to know when YOU do.

    Now, if there's a problem in the sense that you think there's going to be a scene at the school or something if you both are there at the same time, then that's where you tell the teacher this, and ask that if she doesn't want to share the schedule with you, then that she schedule you both so that you aren't there at the same time. Or you talk to him about it, and come up with something between the two of you that would work it so you aren't there at the same time.

    If the issue is that he's the type to cause a problem at the school, period - and it's not a fighting ex's situation, then honestly, that's something that the school will have to address with him when it happens, and not something you need to deal with, or should be dealing with.

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:55 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • I think it depends on the issues and the custody arrangements. If he is no danger to her or to other kids and it isn't specifically forbidden in the custody arrangement then you may not have a legal leg to stand on.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 9:59 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Why would YOU need to know? Do you ask about all the other volunteers. or is it just your EX? Sounds like another controlling ex wife to me...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Call him and ask him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • its not the school's responsibility to keep ex's away from each other. if its a legal issue, and he's there when he's not supposed to be, all you need to do is call the authorities, as long as you have court-ordered judgement. if you're just wanting to avoid seeing him, you're gonna have to get over it and deal with the fact you are both part of your kid's life/school-parenting.
    but we can only guess at what your 'issues' are. sorry.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 10:07 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • No, not unless you have a restraining order and you can't be in the same place, or not unless he's not allowed to be around kids. What's the big deal???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Why would you need to know? He's the father. If he's some creep then I would say definitely. If he's just a normal dad then why would you need to know? Does he know when you volunteer?
    lctmmedina

    Answer by lctmmedina at 11:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

  • Unless you tell him when you volunteer, you don't need to know. If you want to know, ASK him. You need to learn how to get along and deal with him, for your kids sake. There are going to be a lot of activities that both of you will have to be at and it's best if you can be in the same room together without killing each other. Doing what is best for the child(ren) is what matters. If you guys can't get along, then go for family counseling and learn how to.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:48 PM on Oct. 29, 2009

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