Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom issue...... NO BASHING PLEASE :( PIOG

Okay, my mom has been the provider of my baby, Im 18 & my bf is 17 we dont live together. But as soon as i have my baby im planning to work my butt off and repay her. My bf and i have been having some issues mostly b/c he doesnt work.. But my town is very small & its very hard to find a job for 17 yr olds. anyways. I want to name my baby after my bf but my mom feels that, that is a stupid decision & tht I will ruin my baby. And b/c he hasnt provided for this baby at all. & b/c he is rarely around. I KNOW I KNOW my mom is right but I really want my baby to have his dads name, b/c i know his dad more than my mom and I love him... &I know he will be a great dad maybe not financially 4 now. I hate to upset my mom. But everytime i touch the sub. of him she starts roaring.. How can I tell my mom my feelings towards this w/o her totally screaming my face off. I want to name him after his dads first name. the last name will be mine.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Oct. 30, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (9)
  • How is your mother right?

    If you're old enough for mating behaviour, you're old enough to take responsibility for your child, including being the mother: naming, sleepless nights, paying for the daycare and all.

    Kudos to you for wanting to pay your mom back, but you're going to be struggling just to make ends meet for some time to come, and a long-term payback plan makes more sense than 'quick as possible'.

    You could tell your mother that what you name your baby is between you and the baby's father --no matter what she thinks of him... and, in the calmest and most mature voice you can find, ask her to stop screaming at you like you're a howler monkey baby, and treat you with the respect an adult should not have to ask for.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:08 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • well even though your mom shouldnt have to provide all finances for the baby its still your baby. You can name that baby whatever you want
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:09 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • You can name you baby what you want, but with your mom on this one! Don't name your baby after his deadbeat dad! I'm sure you love him, but he doesn't deserve to have a child named after him, sounds like all he's done so far is donate the sperm! Make dad's name his middle name if you must.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Honey, do whatever makes you happy. If the only reason your boyfriend isn't a "good father" right now is because he's looking for a job, doesn't mean that he's a bad person. I'm sure when you're holding your baby in your arms and staring at that beautiful face, you'll know exactly what you want to do.
    HippieontheMoon

    Answer by HippieontheMoon at 2:58 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • This is hard, I had almost the same situation kind of except just he wanted the name to be after him but he has backed out so many times that i wasnt going to do that...i gave my son my last name and to compromise i gave him my sons dads name as a middle name...works good..i know my family wouldnt have been happy for my son to have his dads name cuz of the way he was acting but everyone was happy with the end result.
    jaelynsmama07

    Answer by jaelynsmama07 at 3:14 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I will tell you that my SO was named after his dad and he HATES his name. His dad is no good and never amounted to anything. Yes he loves his dad but he wishes he had his own indivualized name. You should give that baby a name that is unique and different from the dads. I have known so many women that named there babies after the dad and they grew up hating there name because it was a ordinairy name that they already had in the family. JMO though, not bashing anyone or telling anyone what to do but I side with your mom on this one. And Im not even older either Im only 19
    Marah2008

    Answer by Marah2008 at 3:21 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • It is your baby and you can name him whatever, but...
    I'm 20 and i've learned Mother knows best, she probably can see right through your bf and doesn't want you to regret the decision of naming him after the father if theres a 50% or more chance that you won't last. I hateto say it but all my friends that have children and are un-wed are not with the babies fathers. Do you really want to chance hating your babys name in 2 years so you start calling him Bubba or something else? Why not use the bf's name as a middle name?

    Sorry if that sounds rude. Just my advice/opinion
    ChelseaG23

    Answer by ChelseaG23 at 4:35 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • This is big for a 17 year most likely he woun't be a part of baby 's life 5 years down the road. Mom's right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I agree about your the mom... I wouldnt name him his fathers first name... Maybe make it the middle name.. what if he does leave? Your son will have the name of a man who isnt there? Good Luck!
    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 10:42 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN