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move on, or hold on?

My SO is an amazing man, whom I love more dearly than I can express...

We're new to this relationship, and it feels as though he simply does not care what happens to "US". He is extremely goal oriented, and works a lot of long hours, in hopes of excelling and getting out of debt.
Lately he has been working 12 & 14 hour days, and has become very distant. We had a long talk last sunday, and i voiced some of my concerns, and he voiced some of his opinions- now it seems WORSE. We had a wonderful, open line of communication until now, and trust has never been an issue. We recently moved in together.
Yesterday morning he told me that he had a deadline to meet, and a big to do at the office, the deadline was 12am today- and he would be debugging for a couple of hours. that he was going to take supper with a work colleague, and would be home this morning... he's about 4 hours late, and won't answer his phone.....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Oct. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • ...to conclusions, but he's been on AIM all night, and wouldn't even answer a "Good Morning". i have never had trust issues with him, but i am beginning to now.
    he told me before he left that is he had to work all night and was too tired to drive, he would crash in the car... when i tried calling him, it went to v-mail.

    i've been giving him his space, and the more i do, the more distant he becomes... i've held on for dear life, hoping that he would come out of his shell... but he hasn't. i feel like giving up... but for all the stress, i honestly have never been happier (i know contradiction). i feel like i should just leave if he is going to avoid me...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • If he was an amazing man he would care about "what happens to US." He is a type-A personality, driven to work long hours. If you don't want to be alone then move out and move on. He might not notice you are gone.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:32 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Are you sure he is really "working"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • OP- thats what i was getting at. i honestly have NEVER questioned his comings or goings, never felt i had any reason to. and now i just feel like i am being paranoid. my EX cheated almost constantly, and i never trusted him, ever. but this is different... i DO (did?) trust him. now there is a seed of doubt, and i just don't know. i wanna cry. he was supposed to have been home before 6- now its almost 11
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • If it's a new relationship (as you stated it is)I would be concerned. In the beginning of a relationship people are usually at their best, more attentive, more respectful, more caring. If this is how he is in the beginning, I would be concerned about how he will act with time.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:59 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Just ask him how he feels about you two moving in together. Some men regret it. They still care for the woman but moving in changes the dynamics of the relationship. It takes adjustment and sometimes that's not easy for men. It could be something as simple as he is really working hard or he's having a hard time adjusting. Just talk with him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:02 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • He loves you he's just really busy trying to get out of debt to make a better life for you guys, he has a lot of stress on him, he's doing this all for the both of you! You have to sacrifice when it comes to love to have the things you want, just give him some time and try to be understanding.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 11:09 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • YOU DESERVE BETTER. Bottom line.
    jillisue808

    Answer by jillisue808 at 11:44 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • He has been giving you an awful lot of excuses. You are wise not to accept them. He's having dinner with a colleague? He's afraid of crashing his car? He's lying to you like a high school boy and you know it. He isn't working to get out of debt or he wouldn't be in debt because he works so much. He's keeping someone else on the side or maybe you are the side order.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • i think it sounds like bs to me..........
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:53 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

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