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Who's Your 'Dream' Mother-in-Law?

If you could create the mother-in-law of your dreams, what would she be like at the holidays?

What types of gifts would you expect/like her to give?

How long would you like her to visit/stay as a houseguest?

What part would she play in the meal planning/making?

If you could sit down and say this stuff to her, without the worry of offending her, breaking traditions or causing a fight, what exactly would you say to your MIL?

Answer Question
Cafe Cynthia

Asked by Cafe Cynthia at 10:55 AM on Oct. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • hubby would be an orphan.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:57 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I was going to say "me" but I'm not giving any gifts, I don't want anyone staying at my house as a guest and I don't want to meddle in anyone else's business. That includes meal planning! However, everyone seems to be fine with telling me anything. They don't offend me if they speak from the heart. Ok I'm back to saying "me"

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • ok, just kidding, i'm not....oh ok, yes i am.
    No really, i'm not kidding.
    If I could say something to my MIL, is this before or after she got Alzheimer's? Before or after I married the golden boy?
    Everyone is different in their wants and dreams, because with a Monster inlaw, that's what they are wants and dreams...i would want.....
    her to only ask what the plans were for the holidays
    take no part in meal planning at my house, clean up after herself

    and stop giving gifts that she likes. i'm not a seventy year old hillbilly with poor eyesight, so slippers and large print books are not for me.
    staying longer than 3 days is a no no for any household or any houseguest.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 11:02 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • My MIL is great, crazy sometimes but great. She just did my whole kitchen in our 1st home and on holidays she gives gift certificates instead of getting me something I'll return. She comes over and we cocktail and talk about everything. She's so easy to talk to. And I love going to hang out with her also. she spoils the kids and i don't think I could ask for better :)

    Answer by Shyma at 11:02 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I think I have the dream mother in law. She always calls if she's going to come over, she asks us over for dinner at least twice a month if not more, if I invite her here she always asks what she can bring, always remembers my kids (which aren't her bio grandkids) with gifts as nice as she gets all the grandkids, for gifts she has been finishing out my everyday dishes with serving pieces and my crystal (we had a small wedding) - I couldn't ask for anything better! She's truly wonderful!

    Answer by missanc at 11:03 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • A sweet understanding person, down to earth, friendly, is good with the kids and respects your boundaries, loves you, her son and your family equally, likes to do things family oriented, she's comforting and helps when she can. But this is for 365 days of the year not just the Holidays, and my MIL isn't even in our life!

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 11:07 AM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • During the holidays she would be happy to have time with us but not manipulate and guilt trip to get it. I would also like her to understand that I have parents, a sister and grandparents too and that it is not alright to monopolize us. I don't expect any gifts for us, I don't need or want anything anyway, just something practical for our children instead of loud and age inappropriate toys. Clothes or simple toys would be nice. If she were to behave herself she could stay for a day if she wanted then let us have our time as a family. If I could say whatever I wanted without causing a rift that would destroy all space and time, it would be that I would be able to respect her position as my husband's mother and our children's grandmother if she could accept me as her son's wife, grandchildren's mother and stop with all the backstabbing and negativity that has reduced the family to the pile of ash it is today.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:06 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Honestly, I'd love to have my DH's best friend's mom for my MIL. She's so laid back and awesome about everything. Sigh.

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 1:26 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • My MIL is a dream MIL. She is absolutely wonderful! My in-laws came for Thanksgiving last year and frankly I have no idea how to cook a turkey and my husband was like - just let my mom do it - so his mom made the turkey and filling, his sister made a couple different things and I made a couple different things. We also had ham (FIL allergic to poultry cooked with bone in) and I made the ham while his mom told me what to do. For presents she usually asks what you want and then she gets it or she will send money or if you don't ask for much, she gets what you asked for and then also sends money. When my daughter was born, my mom wasn't able to come out until later, so my MIL came out the day we were discharged from the hospital. She did all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, exercised my dogs, etc. while she was here for two weeks. She was a HUGE help and she breastfed, so she was able to help me with that, too.

    Answer by Christina807 at 1:30 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • My mil is awesome. But after she got sic she imposes to the extreme. Even on his day off and my son needs help with a man project for school, she will meddle. I really try to stay neutral. All these years I should be the dream dil. Most girls would've left. But I love my man, I will survive, I hope.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

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