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Ok my daughters 1st bday party is in jan. Everyone knows about it , since her bday is after XMas i wanted to make sure ppl who wanted to come would be in town .. so i had everyone leave a comment on my status on FB to tell me .. so we came down w/ the 1st week of Jan is good for my SO's family to be here as well. 1 problem now is ..

A friend of mine wants to come and bring her 2 kids...i dont want her kids to come. A. because they are 5 and 6 (or 6 & 7 ... i never really knew lol) and not potty trained. They're tall and move around alot so she has a hard time wipeing them,and the smell just stays on them. B. They're autistic and are loud for hours at a time. And there's not going to be many kids here. My daughter isnt in Day Care or anything. Im guessing maybe not even 4 kids honestly. The rest will be older people,family and such. Maybe a few friends from SO's work. I don't want to try and have a small party w/ all that noise and interruptions while people are talking or something. Now i know i could just not send her an invite ... BUT she lives down the street. I was thinking of just saying its for family. She askes about the party every few days when i post either new pics of my daughter or a status about her. So what if she sees friends (CONT)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Oct. 30, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (17)
  • CONT - in the pics on my FB? ... idk what to say ... Should i just say its for family only , or ignore her when she askes about the party?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Have you considered only inviting family? A first birthday is a very good occaission to make just a family event. If you do that you can tell her and not feel guilty about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I can understand a bit. My friend had an autistic son who would reach in his diaper and spread sh*t on the walls on a regular basis. I didn't want him at my house. Maybe I'm a terrible person, but I'd rather avoid having someone's fecal matter spread all over my walls.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Why don't you tell her you are having a very small party with family as you don't want to overwhelm your daughter so she can enjoy her special day, but then offer to have your friend and her kids over to celebrate on a different day. Then you aren't completely excluding her from marking the occasion. Reuse some of your party decorations and it can still feel special for them and your daughter should get a kick out of it too.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:52 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Wow - if any of my friends ever didn't invite me to a party because I happen to have a son with autism, I'd be very hurt and it would end our friendship. I think that's awful not to invite a disabled child because you're worried about what other people might think - very shallow and closed minded.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:01 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Those children need interaction with people other than mom...and mom also needs other interactions. But if you are going to have ONLY family, that is how it should be.
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 3:06 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • OP HERE: (to the 1st reply) -- Yes my child is still an infant , so yes that happens. But 5 , 6 (or 6 , 7 years old) is too old for that and i dont want the whole place reaking of that all night.

    (2nd reply) -- We wanted to do family only .. BUT we ony have SO's family , and if they come depends on the weather (bc they'd have to travel down the mountains) ... And a few friends from his work invited us to their kids b-day parties so i figured only fair to do that as well , plus some of them have kids her age and i figure its a great way to get her used to other kids,and sharing,and thingsl ike that

    (3rd reply) I know that, BUT she can WORK on potty training , or using powder or something.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • wenona mandy, I think the mom has a right to have her daughters first birthday the way she wants. It is about her daughter and her family, not her friend. People do have to be accepting of other people and their situations but not at their own expense. Meaning, this mom should not have to invite anyone that will not make it a special day for them. That's just the way it is.

    For the poster, This is your special day with your daughter, do what makes you happy. You are not terrible or selfish or any such thing. I don't think you're a bad friend either. I think that your friend should be understanding to your feelings as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • (4th reply) to me your not a horrible person! I agree! Her son did it to my bathroom walls once and when i called to tell her about it (after they left is when i seen it) she said "eh he always does"! ... Is it that hard to follow your kids into someone elses bathroom?

    (5th reply) -- I thought of that , but again i do not want to clean up after them. She doesn't so i shouldnt either.

    (6th reply) -- I dont want to deal w/ tantrums all day ... my daughter doesnt throw them so i dont deal w/ them now from her, why should i deal w/ someone elses?

    (7th reply) -- I never said i wanted it to be ONLY family , i said i was going to tell her that so she doesnt get upset.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Answered at 3:11 PM on Oct. 30, 2009 by: Anonymous
    ---
    Thank you! I needed that! =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

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