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please give me advice

my stepson who we have full custody of has touched my daughter inappropritaley. they r both 6. i dont know what to do. we r trying to get him counseling, he now has his own room and is not allowed near the other children alone. My mom is threatening to have my 3 other children taken away if I dont have my ss removed from my home. I cant send him away, he was abused and molested. I want to help him. what can I do. I can not lose my children.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Oct. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I don't know but I would contact some kind of community service department or CPS or some agency that can help with this because they deal with it every day. I'm sorry. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • if he was molested then yes he should go to counseling but you should not treat him different than the other kids and single him out. Yes you should probably watch the children more closely when they play together to make sure this doesnt happen again but he is only 6 and kids do explore their bodys. It probably would'nt hurt to have a talk with him (if you dont think it would upset him to much) telling him that people are not allowed to touch him in the private spots and he should'nt touch others their either...that its his own private spot. Your mother is not right and i would go and talk to childrens services and let them know about the situation before she makes a big stink of everything and i would ask them if they provide counseling.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:57 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • this may seem cold and wrong but.... I would have his removed. Your children do not deserve to live in a unsafe home. I'm with your mother if you where my sister i'd tell you the same thing. Your responsiblity is to YOUR children. That child has problems and he is already showing signs of being a repeater. OH NO He'd have to go!! I wish you the best and I hope you decide to send him away. That sounds so cold but i just thought of it as if i was in the situation. I would NEVER make my home unsafe for my children. You can fix this problem.
    Mrs.Oriaku

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 5:00 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I would not contact a government social program. Child protective services can be a nightmare. They could take all of your children away. Private help is best. There are in-patient treatment centers for all ages. Like camp with a lot of structure and therapy.

    I know someone who went to a center for several months as a young child. She came home for a few visits during her stay. She had been horribly abused and molested. In the center she had regular school classes with therapy sessions. Once she was in treatment, her family was able to seek public funding for additional treatment measures. They proved her environment was safe BEFORE they let CPS get involved.

    Blessings of wellness for your family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Because of him being molested he probably doesnt know he dod anything wrong. I would sit down and talk to him about what happened but dont single him out from the other kids. And do get him some kind of counceling.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 5:03 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I am so sorry you are going thru this. It must be very difficult for you. I dont think i could send him away without trying to "fix" him first. I would start private counseling first, before anything else. Be careful with CPS and if your Mom can't back you up shut her out. You don't need to worry about protecting your family from two threats.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 5:10 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • how does his father feel about this? If you tried to remove my son from my home i would tell you to hit the road
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • "we r trying to get him counseling" in a situation like this trying is NOT good enough this poor child needs counseling NOW! and if you are unable to pay or don't have insurance find a center with a sliding fee scale, tell them the situation, this poor baby is doing what was done to him because he is not old enough to know it is wrong!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • They are 6. When my daughter was about 7 and my son around 5 I found them in his room looking at each other. I have no idea if they touched or not. I explained why that was not appropriate and went about my day. You say he was a bused and molested. He probably has some very mixed feelings about this himself. Someone did it to him so he is doing it to. You need to call who ever you need to call about this counseling and do it now. I really hope you aren't telling him he's not allowed to be alone with the other children. How degrading and humiliating for him! Just keep a watchful eye and prevent it behind the scenes. If contacting the authorities is how you get your therapy for him then do it. I can only imagine that if he was molested that he already has a case file any way. At this point he has already put in your care for his protection do you really think they would take him away for acting out based on his...
    fourisplenty

    Answer by fourisplenty at 7:52 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • history. No likely they would be able to provide assistance in getting him the continued treatment that he obviously needs. People of authority are there to help and not always to cause more turmoil.
    fourisplenty

    Answer by fourisplenty at 7:53 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

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