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What would you do if your 16 year old asked to live with on of your sibblings

She said she hates it here...not here, but her school and I know living at home is stressful at times as we have a large family. She wants to go live with Aunt who only has 1 child who is about her age 1-1/2 years older. I want what is best for her even if it's letting her go. It might motivate her to do better in school.

What would you do

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Oct. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • i would let her go if u know where she will be is a safe happy place. i moved in with my grams at on time and my uncle another time and it really helped me emotionally jus because she wants to move doesn't mean she loves you any less and she might become closer to you because you respected her feelings and trusted her enough to let her go i will say me and my mom became even closer when i did decide to go back home
    shevaughnld

    Answer by shevaughnld at 9:59 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • maybe a trial like two weeks and see if she does better in school. i have been on my own since  i was 15 but on the other hand what 16 year old likes it at home? it is really up to u good luck

    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 9:59 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • all 16 year olds say that....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • all 16 year olds say that....

    (OP HERE) No not all I never did.

    They live on the other side of the country I just worry that I won't see her very often I can't afford to fly her back and forth even for holidays. I do want her to be happy and I know she is miserable at this school and there are no other options for schooling her
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I would let her go. Really, it's that simple. If she's gonna be happy somewhere else, why not. I mean at the most you probibly have another 2 or 4 years before she moved out anyways... I would make a deal with her. She can go live with her Aunt (assuming that the aunt is okay with it) and go to school there IF her grades are good and she stays out of trouble. As for travel, there is no reason at 16 she can't work p/t and help to pay for plane tickets once in a while. Figure you will want her to come home 3-4 times a year, so she should work enough to save between $300 and $400 a year to fly home for visits. You can usually find tickets for about $100 if she doesn't have but one bag... And that would cut what you have to pay in half. If she can't do that then she can't go. It would be that simple!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:26 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Alot of 16 yr old do say that but not all. I would assess the situation and her reasons. If they are logical and understandable and you know she will be taken care of at her Aunts and her Aunt is ok with this. I would let her go.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 10:29 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Don't let her go. You'll regret it. She needs to learn to be happy right where she is, otherwise she'll learn that everytime things get tough, she can just leave. She'll never learn to problem- solve, she'll never learn how to get along with others, etc. Life sucks for a teen, but it sucks for all teens. In a couple of years, when she turns 18, she can go stay with her aunt if that's her wish. But until then, she should stay with you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Depends on why she's so miserable. If she is really honestly having horrible issues at school, then yes I would. There are plenty of kids who go to boarding schools, etc.. and they do fine. If she just wants different rules, no.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • My first reaction is -- Absolutely not! Nobody will care for your daughter like you. And she will certainly feel the difference between how her cousin is treated and how she is treated, even if the aunt does an impeccable job of being fair. You can't hide your feelings that well and I would guess your daughter would be deeply disappointed.

    Is it possible she just said that to hurt you or to shock you into action? Had you been fighting, or had something recently happened in her life? LIke a breakup with a boyfriend?

    Another possibility is that she really is suffering in her school - maybe she's the target of bullies or something. In that case, work with the school or maybe change schools.

    Are there real issues at home that would make it better for her elsewhere? An abusive husband or boyfriend, a lot of poverty, alcoholism or drug use, or something similar? Then maybe it really is better for her to find another place
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • (OP here )

    She is a great kid typical teenage stuff nothing terrible. My brother is way more strict than my dh and I he is in the Army and runs his home as such.

    They would treat her very well like she was theirs my brother is like a father to me and would do anything for my kids.

    I think she just wants a fresh start new surroundings which might help motivate her to do better in school
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

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