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How do you manage it all?

I am a work at home mom and a full time college student. Recently my husband got a new job where he earns great money, but he is now working nights. I feel completely overwhelmed and I don't seem to get anything done anymore. I don't have time to study, work, clean or anything else. My kids are 1 and 4 and my 4 year old has ADHD so I'm constantly on the go and always extrememly exhausted. I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago and I am deeming it up largely to stress because everything was fine in the pregnancy until my husband went back to work and then my stress levels went through the roof and the problems came. I just feel completely out of sync now and I have tried everything. I've reworked my schedule a hundred times but I can't seem to get it right. If anyone else is in the same situation can you offer me some tips?

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brownbaggirl

Asked by brownbaggirl at 10:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I understand what you're dealing with. While my storry is different it's just as jam packed. I created a schedule for each day for each person. It gave me the option to say, no, I can't worry about this, it's time for that. And has really helped us. I just printed it up on the computer and put everything in a big binder... Now all we need to do is look at the schedule and say, okay, time for this or that... And we can focus completely on whatever that task is. Plus we work better together when we know what the others are doing or should be doing.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:21 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I am a WAHM with 3 kids, (2 are 'special needs'). One thing that helps me is I make lists of what needs to be done and I cross them off as I do them. I also have certain chores that I do at certain times or days-- For example- I do dishes in the morning after my morning coffee- I fix lunch at 11am, laundry is done on mondays and thursdays.... and I set aside 5hr each day for my work.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:28 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • You were surviving well prior to his new job? If so, take some of this new money he's making and hire a "mommy's helper".
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 10:31 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Prioritize! Are the kids in daycare while you are in school? If so see if you can extend their hours, if not can you get a sitter a couple of hours a week so you can go to the library to get school work done, no distractions like the phone ringing or oh I'll just do the dishes before this assignment then getting off task. My son was older (school aged) when I was in school part time and working full time, but still had to run him to sports and get everything done when I was home, I found that if I was home DS and DH "needed" me, if I was not they survived just fine! And if you are a person who thinks all the housework should be done everyday, let some of it go, make a schedule so that you rotate through the chores.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:32 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Is your husband helping you? He can help with the cleaning and/or cooking...ect. He needs to step up and help you guys need to work togther and make a schedual that works out for both of you!
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 4:07 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • Not very well. Unfortunately, our culture places most of the child-rearing responsibility on women and it is a full-time job. Anything you do beyond that stretches you and your kids thin.

    I am a widow. Staying home with my child is not an option, unless I choose to stop eating. In this society, there is much less safety net than we think and our kids pay the price more than anyone. Until people wake up and change that, what to do? Do less. Lower your standards. My house is not filthy-unhealthy but it is not as clean as it would be if I had more time. Things are in disrepair and sometimes I just live with it. I'm not at the school as much as the other kids' moms and we are limited to just one extra-curricular activity instead of anything my kid wants because. . .well, we just can't do all that. There is no dating. My kid has more chores to do than the other kids. It sucks, but he understands. We just do the best we can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

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