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how would u xplain to 12 yr old she couldnt go with dad tonight cause hes drunk...

so x showed up to pick up dd age 12 for his weekend..he was drunk, slurring, couldnt balence well..and just found out he has no licence, his head lights dont work..so driving in the dark and he lives 40 mins away. so i tell dd u are not going with dad im sorry..she said she understands but i dont think she does..she said mom ill wear my seatbelt in the back seat.i said no. but i want to go to dads..kiddo im sorry its a no..told her dad i know your drunk i was with u long enough to know u.he also said things with dd in ear range...( all sexual ) he had no concept that she was there..remeber when u and i did..... i shhhed him.he tried to kiss me and hes freaken married. hell im married. i have a good man who would also kill him. i was also afarid yes hes happy drunk but can turn on a dim so i called my friend and send her husband over hes 6 foot and was a marin i know my x would try anything with him there..i also had a 3 yr.

Answer Question
 
tabbys4

Asked by tabbys4 at 11:05 PM on Oct. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,696 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • u did the right thing momma good luck
    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 11:07 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • in the house and i didnt want to risk yelling screaming or fighting and scareing the kids. so what do i do now? how do i tell dd that im not being mean im be careful..im being a mom. it really upset me and her. and im disapointed in him..i know my friend called the cops gave the make color of his car none of us want him or someone hurt due to his idiotness.dont know the results yet but....i just dont know...what do i say or do?
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:09 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • She is old enough to understand he was drunk. Just tell her the truth.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:13 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • Tell her the truth that dad had too much to drink, the car is not safe and you were conserned about her saftey. She's old enough to start seeing real consequences of bad choice people make and how they can effect others.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:14 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • She is nearly a teenager. Im positive she understands alcohol isnt a good thing. Im sure she understands drinking and driving is bad. Explain that to her. Say your Daddy has been drinking you cant get in the car with him like that. Include her in the conversation by asking "is drinking and driving a good thing?" "is drinking and driving safe?" let her answer these questions and then back yourself up with them when she answers them correctly.

    for instance

    You "is drinking and driving safe?"
    Her "No"
    You "You're right. thats why it wasnt possible for you to go this weekend"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I went through this at her age. I am sure by now, even if you tried to hide it from her, that she knows. I always knew my father was an alcoholic. If you just explain to her why she can't go I am sure she will understand. I was in a bad accident with my father driving and I wound never wish that on anyone.
    To be honest if it was that bad off I might make an anonymous call to the police and have him picked up for drunk driving. He could really hurt someone and it sounds like he needs to be stopped.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 11:23 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • amelora....my friend called the police and gave them the make and color of the car..so he would get pulled over and hopefuly save his life and anyone elses...i just dont know if they got him yet..the police were told what roads he goes down.and were hes headed. ( its a 40 min drive for him ) we rest assured we made a call.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:37 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • I am glad to hear that :)
    I hope he gets caught. Maybe getting caught will set him to rights. I know it did nothing for my father, but sometimes people just need their actions shoved in their faces for them to stop.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 11:48 PM on Oct. 30, 2009

  • She might be a little young to understand it, I was 12-14 when I realized on my own that my mother was drinking far too much and it took me another couple years to realize how dangerous it could be. Is there a MADD or SADD (mothers/student against drunk driving) group/club at her school that could talk to her? I might even go so far as to talk to the principle about having a speaker in to talk about it and safety with cars. I know even now, the fact that my school was pro-active about it motivates me to not do so. Sit down and talk to her about it. Press home even a couple of drinks makes it not so safe to drive. It probably wont hit her all at once, but eventually she will get what your saying and thank you for it. GL and GOOD CHOICE mama!
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 12:24 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • When he left you should have called the police, given them a description of his car and his license number.

    THEN you should have been point blank with her about why she couldn't go. She's 12. She's not a baby. She deserves to know the truth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

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