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How do you handle the disappointments when it comes to your kids?

Today we had a huge issue in my house. My son was looking forward to trick or treating at the library today. For weeks that is all he was talking about. Now I am at the library alone. I am the only one with a steady paycheck in the house and I don't make much. But I really scrimped to get his costume and for the other kids. I haven't stopped crying since it happened. I really think I am a failure. For a kid that doesn't have a lot he certainly expects a lot. I understand he is a kid. But how come he is taking the little things he gets such for granted?

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sweetpea532

Asked by sweetpea532 at 10:30 AM on Oct. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • I dont quite understand what happened?
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 10:35 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I know it's hard, and a lot of it depends on the age of the kids. I don't think it's unreasonable, as long as you keep it age appropriate, to explain about budgets. You could say something like "I would love to be able to buy you ___, but we have a budget that we have to follow so that we can afford the things we have to have. But you know, just because we can't have ____, doesn't mean we can't have fun. We can do / have ___ instead."

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:37 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I don't understand fully either, more details please.
    presleyfan1

    Answer by presleyfan1 at 10:48 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • Well he was looking forward to this trick or treating at the library for the longest time. Every Saturday I take him to storytime. He is the oldest and I feel that he should get some time by himself with my or dh. Anyways. The majority of the time all he does is complain. How tired he is. But then when it is time to go to bed he says he isn't tired. So this morning I got him up to come to trick or treating. He says he is soooo tired and sits for a half hour crying about how tired he is. I tell him to go to bed then. I had to come today since the books are due. He says he doesn't want to go trick or treating period. I spent that money on a costume and he doesn't even appreciate it. So dh told him he was going whether he liked it or not. I said no. I didn't want him crying the whole way. Seriously. We don't have much. But I do try my best to get them little fun things. I work my ass off and my family just expects more and more
    sweetpea532

    Answer by sweetpea532 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • My ds pulls this all the time though. Sometimes he will tell me he is glad he got out of the hosue for awhile. But more often than not he cries. So this afternoon I get to miss trick or treating with my other kids so dh can get out and take the younger ones trick or treating. I am so tired of comprimising myself. ( sorry for spelling)
    sweetpea532

    Answer by sweetpea532 at 10:56 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I believe it's the trips to the store to buy stuff that make people like that. When u buy something the action of buying is just that a material transaction. Young children don't even learn sometimes that that purchase was made by a child their age in another country sometimes. I have found that when people learn to make things manually they appreciate them more. Anything, clothes, food, toys, whatever. I have a great friend who tought my son that he didn't have to have money to make me happy and I am forever grateful to her. He made a gift for me himself and I know she taught him a valuable lesson about life that day. I believe that it's important to teach our children to study and become someone but I think it's just as important to teach them about what they already have, have experienced and their past generations and how they coped.
    milmiracle

    Answer by milmiracle at 11:02 AM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • First, you need to expect childish behavior from children. :)

    Constant complaining is learned. This is so not criticism. I swear. Examine what comes out of your mouth and your husband's. Make sure it's not complaining. Come up with responses to his complaints about being tired when you're not in the heat of the moment. I see he's six. Here's what I'd do. When he says he's tired, drop everything. "Oh, goodness, you're tired? Well, we need to work on that. Now, you'll get a second wind later in the day, but we're going to have to push your bedtime up earlier. So, instead of 8, you'll be in bed at 7:30. Also, let's have a rest time today from 1-2. Stay in your room with the lights low." Enforce it. Don't be ugly. Be sooooo concerned about how tired he is. When he complains later say "no, no, you said you were tired, let's work to make sure you AREN'T tired tomorrow." I bet you'll get less tired complaints.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 12:29 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I am assuming he is under 6. It doesn't sound like taking stuff for granted is the issue but that he isn't getting enough sleep. He sounds like a night owl. I would let him sleep in a bit and ensure he gets the time to sleep. When he cries walk away or ignore him. My daughter cries at everything when she is tired. And that has been a lot lately. She goes to school and refuses to nap, so on the weekends we lay down together and she sleeps for an hour or more. This really helps her during the week. I also let her sleep in when I can, and I moved her bedtime up an hour to compensate for getting up so early.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 12:40 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

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