Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Will we ever be able to adopt?

I have cervical cancer and i cannot have children and my husband has low sperm count and abnormal sperm. He was convicted of a felony 3 and half years ago and was released from prison 6 months ago. He is on parole and has fines to pay but we are hoping to get him off paper in 2 years. He is going to school to be a mechanic and is working, doing everything he should be doing. His crime was home invasion 2nd degree and served the minimum sentence. But we would be even more devastated if we couldnt adopt ever.

Answer Question
 
1stTimeMom441

Asked by 1stTimeMom441 at 1:54 PM on Oct. 31, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (66)
  • I think it's usually violent crimes that cause major problems in the adoption process. Was he armed for the home invasion? That would be a problem. If he wasn't armed and he did his time then you might have some explaining to do... but I don't think it would keep you from adopting alltogether. Maybe call an angency and ask.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:57 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • Was his record expunged? I don't know if they can do that with the kind of offense he had. Some states do have laws on the books that people can only adopt if they have not been convicted of a felony. You should check into it, and it's important to give all the true information so it doesn't come back to haunt you later.

    Here is another idea (if you haven't had a hysterectomy). You could check into having a donated embyro transferred into your uterus, so it would be a lot like adopting but you'd be carrying the pregnancy. You can look through the closed questions for info on that. There was recently a question on that subject, and some contacts were given. I know people can change. I wish you luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • You get one expungement in a lifetime! so I think this might be a good time to use your card for an expungement, you need an attorney, but worth every penny.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:22 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • Many women say that they chose adoption because they want their children to have a better life. I doubt many would chose an ex-con for a father. Even if the agency accepts you, It's possible the expectant mom wont.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:54 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • LOL, l think those who have never committed a crime or something illegal should be throwing the first stone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • By "off the paper," I am assuming that you mean to have his record expunged. As happy as I am for you that he is doing all he can to by law-abiding now, but even if you manage to wipe his records off the books, it would be WRONG to withhold that information. A mother should be able to choose parents for her child based on complete information, and I doubt many moms would choose a father for their child who had been in prison for a felony. You might be able to find an unethical agency that would overlook a felony conviction, but, why would a mother choose a convicted felon to parent her child? Sorry to be so blunt, but, as a birth mom that is how I feel.


    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:34 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • "LOL, l think those who have never committed a crime or something illegal should be throwing the first stone"

    um ok anon, i've never committed a crime or something illegal, so i guess by your standards i can judge?

    OP, sorry, but i hope you cannot adopt b/c of his crime. I don't believe in rehabitlitation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • The expectant mom has a right to know the history of the prospective parents. Erradicating it from his record is one thing, but in order to establish trust, the mom who is TRUSTING you to raise her child has to know about his history.

    I hate to say it, but most women won't want an ex con as their kid's dad.
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 11:34 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I got a speeding ticket twice but as for robbing people in their own home, uh, no never did that nor do I intend to. A home invasion is serious crime. Don't think it's something many people are going to be able to over look when it comes to choosing you as parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I gave a child up at 16. I made sure they were not convicted criminals. I would have never given him to someone only out of prison for a few months. I am sad for you that you cannot have your own children. I am glad there are things in place that do keep convicted felons from adopting. His crime is not that old and he just got out. Too soon to know if he won't reoffend. I doubt very many birth moms would give you a chance. Can you really blame them? That is their child no matter what their reason is for adoption that is their baby. They will want the best home for the child and frankly a convicted felon would not seem best to me. I am not trying to be been just realistic.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.