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What should I say if he calls again?

My ex will not leave me alone, I told him last week to quit bothering me or I was going to get a retraining order against him when he showed up at my house before work after a night of showing up at my house and calling 'til 1:00 am in the morning. A week has gone by & I haven't heard from him but did receive roses and a card saying that he knows I don't want to see or talk to him but wanted to send something to calm my hate. I thought that would be the end of it... nope. We work at the same place and when I answered the phone today, he was on the other line, asking if I had a min. I asked if it was business related or not & he said "no" so I said that it was best if we didn't talk. As we were getting off the phone, he said "I love you" & I said "goodbye". A few mins. later he called back & had a work related question so I let him talk to my co-worker. A little later, the phone rang, my co-worker answered & the person hung up.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Oct. 31, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Sounds like he is madly in love. Is he dangerous? Has he shown a side that you are afraid of like Stalking or is he just hurt and being a nuisance?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 2:07 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • He acts like he is madly in love but when I talk to him, he is very verbally abusive and nothing he says is loving... talking bad about me and my family and blaming them for all my problems. I am afraid of him and he doesn't understand what "Leave me alone, I don't want to be with you anymore" means. He has also left messages on my phone where he makes it sound like we are together... it just doesn't feel like love anymore and I just want it to stop.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • Sounds dangerous I would notify your police for a possible dangerous situation and ask one of there counselors for advise. That sounds obsessive and like some thing that will most likely take a turn for the worse. I've been there done that so notify police before it gets to late. Good luck. Pm me if you ever need to talk.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 2:35 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • You need to get the restraining order. You've told him you will, but like a child will push when they don't think you will discipline, he's not going to stop until you follow thru. He's stalking you, and the only way to make it stop is to get the police involved. Get the restraining order, if he violates it, call the cops to come enforce it. After a time or two in jail for bothering you, he'll eventually stop, hopefully. Also, change your phone #s, if he sends flowers or other gifts again, refuse them. You have to make it perfectly clear with no room for doubt that you are done with him. And if he's unstable, even though you think you're being clear, he'll find ways to turn you accepting the gifts he sends into you still being in love with him and he just needs to convince you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:37 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • yes get that restraining order asap. stay strong and firm. even if he begs you don't met with or talk ot him on the phone unless it's work related. consider talking to your boss about his herassments during work hours.
    nikkib4407

    Answer by nikkib4407 at 3:05 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • Thanks to all of you. I think that tropicalmama hit it on the spot with accepting his gifts... my cat needed a box to play in so I kept them... just a joke. I was going to send them back but the people were gone when I got home and the box was left on my front porch. He has done this even when I was talking to him, telling him to leave me alone... he thought that since I was talking to him at all, that I was still considering being with him again or when I didn't delete his myspace friend request, he told me that I was checking up on him and that if I didn't want to be with him or wasn't considering it, I would have denied it right away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I would get a restraining order. I would also talk to someone at work (supervisor, HR) about his behavior and let them know you will be getting a restraining order against him- and why. You should not have to put up with him bothering you at work.
    I hope he gets the message and he stops bothering you and moves on with his life.
    good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:27 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

  • I am going to go talk to the tribal police afterwork (I live on a reservation) and see if they can watch out for him or ban him. As far as him bothering me at work, I will let my supervisor know when he get's back if he doesn't stop. Thanks again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Oct. 31, 2009

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