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Would you really not change anything about your child?

So I've seen PLENTY of posts about people who have children who have ADHD, down's syndrome, autism, etc. And they say "I wouldn't change my child if I could". Why? Why would someone WANT a child with a disability? Most parents embrace their life and CHILD when they have a child with a disability...but would you really NOT change things if you could? I don't understand that.

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ProudSingleMum

Asked by ProudSingleMum at 11:52 PM on Oct. 31, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think for many parents, they choose to see the joy in their children. They see each child as unique & special. They don't want to change the special parts. My child is classifed as special needs because of a speech problem (he is very smart & has no behavior problems but is speech delayed & the classification allows us to use the school speech therapist). I would not change him. His speech problems are part of who he is. The challenges he is facing now are helping to shape his future. I love seeing him grow & develop & overcome this difficulty. I think the basis behind saying "I wouldn't change my child" is acceptance of their child they way they are. Parents realize that their child is a gift. They also realize that changing a speech problem or ADD or Down's does not guarantee acceptance in this world or an easy life. There are many challenges in life & a special need is merely one of those challenges.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 12:29 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I really would not make any changes.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 1:35 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I think it's acceptance. It's deciding not to say I wish he could hear" and instead say " I am going to learn sign language and be the fastest signer there is!" it's a state of optimism.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:52 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • If I could get change my child's food allergies, I would in a heartbeat! He's allergic to milk, eggs, peanuts, and tree nuts. I've accepted he has these things and we deal with them, but I would change it if I could.
    ClaireW

    Answer by ClaireW at 2:02 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I think they honestly do would change there children if they could. I mean, having a disability is hard- of course they would take that disability away from their child IF they could but they can't- so why not just embrace their baby the way it is.
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 4:05 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • For me, it's not so much that I don't want to change them, but I can't, so why wish? I say I wouldn't change them, b/c I know I can't change them, ADHD is just a part of who they are, and there's no point in wishing otherwise. Besides, it also helps to shape their personality. Who knows who'd they be without that little "difference"?
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:49 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • If I could change anything I would change the food allergies so we could go out without an epipen and not fear what enters our children's body...but nothing about them personally- no quirks, no personality changes...just the thing that is very scary.
    presleyfan1

    Answer by presleyfan1 at 8:14 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • My oldest has ADHD and I would change it if I could becuase there are times when she struggles even being on medication. My youngest is speech delayed and I we are going to speech therapy to correct the problem so I think in a way we are changing it.
    mosarmywife

    Answer by mosarmywife at 10:05 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Because the "disablity" is only part of who your child is. I have twins who are developmentally delayed with some autistic tendancies. They are almost 12 and function like about 7 or 8 year olds. They are also beautiful, caring, little girls that love eachother in that twin way. They genuinly want to learn and try things whole heartedly. So would I change their disability, not if it meant changine who they are.
    Also, if a parent is open to what having a child with special needs can teach them it can be a tremendous blessing. I also have a typically developing daughter. Because my twins don't learn at the typical rate I have learned to charish what they do learn, each achievement is celebrated. This makes me a better mom to my older child.
    So you want to do everything you can to help your child be the best they can be, to achieve all they can, you also learn acceptance and joy right where they are.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 2:05 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • The only thing I would change about my child would be,for him to truly understand why he gets talked to when he does something wrong
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 3:47 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

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