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TORN.....PLEASE NO BASHING!!!!

OK LONG STORY SHORT MY FIANCEE SOMEHOW GOT INVOLVED WITH THE WRONG CROWD AND HAS BEEN ARRESTED FOR DRUG CHARGES.WE HAVE 2 KIDS TOGETHER AGES 2.5 AND 3 MONTHS.I'M ILLIGAL IN THE COUNTRY AND AM PREPARED TO GET ME AND THE KIDS DEPORTED IF HE GOES TO JAIL.IT'S BREAKING MY HEART TO HAVE TO TAKE THE KIDS AWAY FROM THER FATHER ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTER SHE ADORES HIM.I GREW UP NOT REALLY KNOWING MY DAD AND I NEVER WANTED MY KIDS TO GO THROUGH THE SAME THING.I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT STAYING AND GETTING MY VISA RENEWED BUT AT THE MOMET I'VE BEEN THE ONE WHO STAYS HOME WITH KIDS WHILE HE WORKS.HIS FAMILY DOESN'T HELP US IN ANY WAY AND NOW WITH ALL THAT'S HAPPENED ARE EVEN LESS INTERESTED IN HELPING.I'D HAVE TO GET A JOB BUT I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO WATCH THE KIDS WHILE I WORK.WHAT WOULD U DO IF IT WAS U?MY FIRST CONCERN IS THE KIDS IT'LL BE HARD IN THE BEGINING IF I DO GO HOME BUT AT LEAST MY FAMILY WOULD SUPPORT US TILL I GET BACK ON MY FEET

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greenmaniac

Asked by greenmaniac at 3:19 AM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I'ld say before he goes to jail get your visa renewed. and look into working at a place that provides childcare I know that QT does. Good luck I'm sorry I can't help more.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:56 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Ya i would be there renewing your visa and would be there TODAY. Also your botfriend made bad chooses and it had nothing to do with the people he is chilling with cause he is a grown man and he know better then what he has gotten himself into. So he choose his friends over his family and that got him into trouble which has an impacked on your children and you. Go get your visa renewed and if you don't do that then go home to your family that can help you, without your visa you can't get anything so if your not gonna renew then get home and take care of them babys before they get taken away from you, cause if they find out they will take them babys of yours. I have seen it done a few times. GL Stay strong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Now if you're for sure he's going to jail if it was me I wouldn't be staying in a strange place with no family around. You say his family isn't helpful and you will get lonely and it's hard enough with an infant and toddler and on your own with no help at all I would go to my family. You can get a job at home and save up for when your man is free again and will get back together and hope it won't be a long time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • i'd go back home, where you have support and family to depend on. you don't know what will come of his drug charges/jail time; thus, you wouldn't be keeping your children away from him..he chose his actions, and now must pay his debt. he made that decision. after he's clear, out of jail, and you are sure he's not going to be repeating his actions, you might consider returning, if the love is still there. but honestly, if he's not a changed person afterward, why would you want your c hildren around that sort of crowd anyway? think of your children first, then you. then him.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 8:12 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Go home. At least your family can help and like the PP said if he does go to prison, you'll be here alone with no one to help. It's a very scary situation to be in. Go back to where you have family who loves you and will help.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:52 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Renew your visa just in case but plan to go home. This guy doesn't have enough respect for you, his kids or himself or else he wouldn't have put you in this situation. Girls are easy to mess up and no dad is better then a terrible one. At least then she can fantasize about how great he is instead of feeling guilt about what a schmuck he is. I hope everything gets better you'll pull through this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

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