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I'm Desperate for Help

I have been trying to crib train my 7 month year old for over 3 months now and it's only getting harder. Each night I spend 5-6 hours trying to get her to sleep and nothing works. She will fall asleep but usually wakes up every 20 minutes and then it takes me at least 30 minutes to get her back to sleep. I never pick her up, I just rub her back and stuff. I do this all night everynight. She screams so much and she is so choked up that nothing will calm her down besides me picking her up, which I don't like to do because it teaches her that if she cries long enough, I will pick her up. But, I eventually have to. I feel awful hearing her scream and I can't stand it any longer. Every book I read swares that if you keep to the training that within a week or two the baby gets used to the crib. I feel like it's only gotton worse over the past 3 months. Any suggestions?

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Asked by Chickiebabe151 at 3:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (12)
  • Does she have a nightlight or a small light on in her room at night? Some babies are actually fearful of the dark.

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 3:54 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • She might be afraid of the dark. Have you tried leaving on a nightlight? Try playing an ocean-sounds CD on very low volume on a boombox in her room at night. That has helped a few of my friends get their babies to sleep well. Also, I know it is very difficult to just let her scream and scream, but all babies need to learn how to sleep in their own room....and I know this is much easier said than done, but try your best not to pick her up. If she screams a lot and you find yourseld worrying about her safety, you could invest in a video moniter, although they are very expensive. A LOT of kids have problems crib-training and sleeping through the night, even at your daughter's age. What does her pediatrician say?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • What does her ped. say? I hope you find something that works. I know it is hard to crib train sometimes. You just need to be as patient as possible and flexible to try new methods. PP mentioned a couple of good ones. Good luck momma!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • You need to have a night light if you don't have one already and when she is in for a nap and at bed time she needs to be no where else but in the crib. Keep at it, it will get better it will just take time. No baby has cried themselves to death worse that could happen is she crys herself to sleep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Are you nursing or giving a bottle during that time? Only one of my 3 kids was sleeping 6-8 hours without a feeding at that age. Well at 7 months I think they were all sleeping through the night - but if you have been trying for 3 months, none of mine were then (except my daughter who slept all night at 3 weeks!). When I trained my kids to stay in bed, I would pick them up when they got completely distraught. I would rock them in my arms (standing) until they calmed down. Then they would go back in the crib. When they whimpered and cried a little I would just pat their back. Good luck and don't be afraid to cuddle her some more. She may need that as she adjusts - especially since it seems she has built a 3 month habit of being so distraught.

    Answer by micheledo at 5:51 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • No, there isn't a night light but some light gets into her room from the window. That is something I can try. She will cry for 5 hours straight if I let her. I haven't, but i gaurantee you she could and would. I don't understand how she has the physical endurance, but she me. IDK, it's not bad EVERY night, but even when it's a good night she still wakes up way too much. After I posted this I woke her up and fed her a jar of baby food and then put her to bed and it went well. I'm wondering if she was just hungry tonight and I didn't have enough breastmilk. But even if that is the case tonight, it isn't everynight because I usually put her to bed after a meal. This is just way too hard. I know it's worth the payoff in the long run though. All of my friends kids still sleep in the parents beds until they're 2 or 3. Every night! Thanks for answering, I was going crazy and needed to vent.

    Answer by Chickiebabe151 at 5:54 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I hate to tell you this, but standing there rubbing her back for 20 or 30 minutes accomplishes nothing. She isn't learning to self-soothe that way, she's learning if she cries mommy will come in there and rub her back for her. When it is time for bed, put her in her crib, wait until she is sleepy, like after a bottle or nursing. She might cry for 20 minutes a couple of nights in a row but do NOT go in there. If she is fed, clean, and dry, she is okay. My son has slept in his crib since he was about 9 months old. He still wakes up every now and then. I can tell by the cry if it's something he will put himself back to sleep over or if I need to go in there.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 8:26 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • is 7 months too early to do this?

    Sounds like you are wasting a lot of time at time and it would be frustrating for me. I would nurse my son and either he would fall asleep at that age or I would put him in the crib sleepy.
    Sometimes I had to rock him a little for him to be sleepy but I never had to stay in there and do something all night.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I can really empathise with you - we didn't get our 1st baby into his crib and sleeping until he was 9 months old.

    I can tell you how we finally accomplished it and you can decide if you want to give it a try. The most important is have a routine that is set in stone for at least the 1st month! Maybe dinner, nurse, read a short book then tucked into bed. The crying will start - wait 5 min, go in and pat her tell her you love her and leave (don't stay more than 2 min). Next time wait 10 min before repeating the "go in routine". Then wait 15, 20, etc.. I never waited more than 30 min before checking in and reassuring my baby.

    Night 1 will be long. Night 2 will be longer. Night 3 should be a little better. By night 6 or 7 baby will probably fuss a few minutes at most and drift off.

    Send me a friend request and I'll keep you company while you watch the clock for the 5-10-15-20-30 min intervals - I know how hard it can be!

    Answer by Indymommy5 at 9:08 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I don't understand why you started trying to sleep train this way so early. 6 months is the youngest people should try this way.

    I also do not understand why you would keep doing a method -- that is not working -- for 3 straight months.

    For safety reasons, I would never let a baby scream alone in a room without a video monitor for more than a few minutes. I've heard and seen news stories of babies getting their legs/arms stuck in the crib and really hurting themselves or suffocating after something fell on them or animals attacking them and the parents just let them scream without a video monitor..

    I also would give up this method. I'd try something new. Have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution?

    And, a 5 hour struggle is pointless. Just get the baby out of bed and let her play for another couple of hours.. feed her.. and try again when she's actually --tired-- or another -sleepy window- comes around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

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