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people in delivery room (PLEASE HELP!)

i want my mom and my SO in the delivery room with me when its time to deliver. but i dont want my step mom. i watched her give birth to my 2 little brothers when i was younger, and thats great, but i still dont want her in there. im being induced on nov. 9th. (THATS IN A WEEK) how should i go about telling her? or can i? any adivce??


Asked by mommyofacarter at 11:26 AM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • my best advice LIE tell her they will only allow two people in the delivery room and thats it she will understadn its your mom and SO those two people have to be there tell her you would love for her to be close by so she could be part of the babys first few hours and promise to call her as soon as the baby is born

    Answer by jajamama at 12:35 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Of course you can tell her! And you just tell her...."I'm sorry, but I'd rather not have you in the delivery room."

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Well, this is one place where you do not want to compromise. So definitely make your wishes known. My suggestion is to be very firm but to make it more about the fact that you want to keep it intimate and the number of people to a minimum and that you've chosen your mom to be the only extra person in the room besides you and your h. I didn't want anyone else in the rm when my babies were born besides me and h but all the fam was there in the waiting rm and saw the baby w/in minutes of delivery. Be firm, be specific but also make them feel welcome and honor the fact that they love you and want to be a part of this. : )

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 11:50 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • i'm not going to tell my mil... but i already told my husband i only want him and my mom there...
    i'm not that close to my mil and i wouldn't feel comfortable her being there.. she can wait in the waiting room with the rest of my family!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • She is going to be devistated. You could ask your father to tell her. That way she has time to adjust to the idea before she talks to you. It's not taking an easy way out, it is breaking it in a way to preserve your relationship.

    I think you should reconsider. Perhaps she could be there for the birth but not the labor. If she stood behind you then you won't even know she is there. If she wanted you there for her births then I bet its really important for her to see your baby being born.

    I got to be at my grandson's birth. My DIL didn't really want me there to begin with. I ended up holding her while she pushed! It's the best thing she will ever do for me.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:19 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • It is you and your husband's baby, and you pick. I don't allow people to avoid hurting their feelings. However, if I was allowing mom and not step mom or something, I'd try to find a very important role for her fill. Maybe she could be the one helping you home from the hospital. I don't know. If she knows you don't want her there, I'm really not sure why she'd come in the first place.

    Answer by apexmommy at 12:23 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • tell her u was told that only 2 people could be in there,and let ur nurse know and she will tell her the same thing,so no ones feelings will get hurt

    Answer by angelairelan at 2:18 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • i ended up with 4 people in the room with me and they were all people i wanted i had my mom sister best friend and hubby of course his mom wanted to be in there and i wouldnt allow that i didnt even have to say anything really cause i already had the 4 people that i wanted in there and there wasnt anymore allowed lol so if you can just let the nurse know and she will tell her to leave or have dad or someone else IT'S YOUR BABY AND YOUR DAY dont let anyone ruin it for you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Jst tell her they won't let you have more than 2 others in there .for sanitary reasons , too many germs in and out ect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I didn't want anyone but my husband in with me when i had my kids. My first husband's mother said "i'm coming in I'll break down the door if I have to" I told her no i didn't want anyone else in there. I was so concerned she'd try to barge in anyway that i talked to the nurse and told her I only wanted my husband in and told her what my mother in law said. She said "don't worry that's what security is for" lol

    Answer by angiewith2 at 3:27 PM on Nov. 1, 2009