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16 year old sister was called "BJ" by some boys

I was walking through the mall yesterday with my husband's little sister, 16, when a small group of boys her age passed. One called her BJ, giggled, then corrected himself by saying "It's Kim right?" I can only think of one thing BJ stands for and it has nothing to do with her initials. :( I feel that maybe I should talk to her about this but I don't know what to say. We are very close, she keeps me pretty well filled in on what's going on in her life. Although we've talked a lot about boys and have touched things like birth control a little bit, I don't know where to start this conversation. I don't want to come across accusatory but I want her to think about what type of choices she is making if she is sexually active. Sexually active and bragging about it, being with someone that is bragging about it, going to be so rude to her in public, in front of an adult for crying out loud. Ugh. Any suggestions?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I think that since you overheard this and you seem to be close to her that you have an obligation to discuss this w/her. I definitely would. You could make a huge diff in her life and I would not delay. She is lucky having someone like you on her side.
    momrocks1000

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 11:55 AM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Well, if you're close, be honest and up front about it. Say "I'm concerned and wanted to give you some unsolicited advice." Give her your *polite* spiel and then ask her if she wants you to take her to planned parenthood (if she fesses up to being sexually active). Reassure her that you're not going to tell anyone, especially her brother (your husband) or her mom. Tell her you don't want her making the mistakes you have seen so many make. And then give her a friendly hug and go do something fun to get her mind off of it :)
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:00 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • just casually ask her what BJ means. Maybe, although I agree with you and doubt it, there's an innocent explanation. And if there's not, or she hesitates to tell you, that gives you an opening to discuss it with her without coming off looking bad.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:59 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • sounds like they were just picking on her and teasing her
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 2:20 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • You really need to have the banana and condom talk with her. Make sure that she knows that STDs can be transmitted by oral sex.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:29 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Most kids I went to school with were perfectly okay with oral sex and thought it was less intimate than full scale sex. So I, personally was surprised to find out that my mother's generation felt that oral sex was even more intimate than sex.

    Honestly some places actually promote oral sex as a way to discourage actual sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Oh and I graduated in 1993.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I would just say, "When those boys at the mall called you 'BJ' the other day it really stuck in my head. What's that about?" I mean, she's 16, I'm sure she knows what "BJ" usually means and doesn't need you to play ignorant about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I would ask her " why did you perform oral sex on a boy that told everyone" " did you think he would keep it a secret"
    c'mon, here...it's obvious i think.
    she gave someone a BJ and he told everyone.
    she's 16 and she's really gonna think you are lame when you say " what's that about" and act like you don't already know. that's just asking her to lie to you
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:22 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • i agree with momrocks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

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