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Adult relationship question.....NO BASHING!

First I'll say that I have an issue with my DH and how he's so blunt about a certain sexual act. However, he's not mean or vulgar about it towards me. So, don't bash.
Okay, so my DH asks for a bj a few times a week at least. Normally I wouldn't mind doing or giving but I do have an issue with it when he asks. I think it's something that should just happen. I've never been the kind who gives when asked. Period, and I never will be. But, once he ask's, I'm done. I voice my opinion tell him how I feel, politely of course and the conversation is over. He's actually very nice about it when we're talking about it. He just thinks since we've been together for 12 years he should be able to ask and receive. Part of me thinks thats just disgusting and makes me want to vomit. The other part of me understands what he means. But, I'm not comfortable and have made it known that it will never happen. Is it normal for me to feel this way?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Just tell him a romantic kiss and a "come hither" look in his eye will get him a lot further than a request will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I'm the same way. If I want to do it, ok. If he starts asking or pushing for that, I get out of the mood real quick and that's it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • OP here. Thank you thats the kind of answer I was hoping for. I know some women who would turn it into my fault and make me feel like I should be his personal whore. But, I have enough self respect to do as I please and if thats it then he's lucky to get it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • For me I don't mind when my SO asks for it, but I do have the moments where I get just irritated because dang it I think sex should be sexy not crude and crass. I don't blame u for feeling that way hold your ground

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I don't see anything wrong with a spouse asking for oral sex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • First response person here, lol. I think it's a matter of feeling like you're being pushed into it. At least that's how it is with me. I don't like feeling like I'm being forced to do it. My dh will start talking about it and then let it go. That way, I take the hint and then go from there. Maybe that night, maybe a few days from then. He knows me and how I feel, so it's not an issue with us anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I do feel weird when it's asked for. I think it somehow turns it around to a "servicing" sort of thing really.

    Here are my two suggestions:
    1) Surprise him at different times with BJs so that he will be less inclined to ask
    2) Ask him to give you oral pleasure and then just go to sleep afterward and see how that makes him feel.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • OP again. It's not an issue with us either. Like I said before once I tell him how I feel it's over. But, I just feel as though if he would listen to me he'd get what he wants and more of it. I mean I'm well into my 6th month of pregnancy and horney as hell. But his mouth ruins it for the both of us. I actually want to until he makes a comment, then I don't even want him to be near me. And, I know it's not my hormones raging because I've always been like this and haven't always been pregnant. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Anon 9pm... Funny because I do both of those. Weird though because the more I surprise him the more he'll ask.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Oh' and I completely agree about it feeling as "servicing" him. I'm not into that feeling at all. You service your car not your DH!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

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