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Why can't I just feel content?

We have two wonderful beautiful healthy children. Why do I feel the need to have another? Like an overwhelming need, not just a thought or two about adding to the family. We have talked about possibly trying next year but my husband is not at complete peace with the idea, he worries about the financial aspect of adding another to the family. I respect him for that, but the want just does not go away. Our youngest will be turning three in a few months.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Have any of you struggled with this and then finally decided it was for the best not to add to the family?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I can understand, we have two children two and I am desperate for a third. We have one of each and apparently people think that is something magic. Like if I had two boys or two girls then it would be okay. I understand my DH's issue as our children are now 14 1/2 and 10 1/2 and he feels like we are done and doesn't want to start over. Waiting until finances are perfect is not something I've ever understood because many people have babies and just deal with the finances. I can understand its obviously better to be more financially stable to have children, but its usually not devastating either to have another child either. Right now his argument is that my TTC sister would never speak to me again and I only have the one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • NOOOOO! One is enough, and I have custody of my two nieces as well, and your husband is right, it is very expensive to raise kids now.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:56 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • Ugh, expensive to raise kids! Only if you make it expensive. If your kids have to have designer clothes and 500 dollar birthday parties for toddlers. You can raise kids just fine with regular clothes, and family birthdays. My kids are amazing and we cannot afford to do a lot for them, but they are happy and well adjusted. They know they are worth more than the shoes they are wearing and the latest gadgets. As long as you can provide the basics, I wouldn't worry about it. And no the basics does not have to include a college fund! I refuse to pay for my children's education out right. I will help them, but I will not foot the bill. IF they really want it, they can earn it, it will mean more and they will get more out of it. Trust me, I saw so many people given an education who wasted it. I had to fight tooth and nail to be in school and I understood the privilege that it was.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I'm totally with the anonymous PP. I am the same way esp. with the college thing.
    I have felt this way OP. My husband was going to get cut, and he even had an appointment. I cried like crazy and didn't know why cuz I didn't want anymore, we already had four. He waited. I got an IUD. Four years later I had an overwhelming urge for a baby and talked him into it, then we both got fixed. It was the best decision I ever made, to have her. SHe has brightened the life of our whole family. My longing for her was destiny. I don't understand how deciding not to have another baby could be for the best for the family. I think you would always regret it if you didn't. That's what I told my DH. We would never regret having another child, but we could always regret not having another one. Hope it works out for you.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 10:47 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • No
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 11:21 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • I'm totally with Jackiegirl! Everything she said is right on. You WOULD regret it if you didn't.
    mamie2shoes

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 2:27 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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