Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why would you stay if your Dh cheated?

I don't understand how anyone can work through cheating! How could you ever trust the person again? Has anyone stayed just because they felt like they loved the person too much to be able to leave?
I'm really just trying to understand this. No judgement from me.

Answer Question
 
JackieGirl007

Asked by JackieGirl007 at 11:09 PM on Nov. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 35 (73,191 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I don't think I could stay either. I think it really depends on the circumstances of the relationship and the people in the relationship. People handle bad situations differently and if a couple wants to work things out after an affair, then that's their perogative. They are the ones who have to live with the guilt and mistrust and the process of rebuilding.
    zava_t

    Answer by zava_t at 11:13 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • No!
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 11:17 PM on Nov. 1, 2009

  • My husband cheated on me about 6 onths before we got married. We had a really bad fight, and were taking a "time-out" when it happened. So depending on your point of view, it could be considered us not together, but it still hurt. It took along time to get over it, and it still hurts. He will never have 100% of my trust again, and it has been 5 years and 2 kids later. We had a hard time working through it, and at times thought it would be easier to just let it all go. Now this was I KNOW a 1 time thing, and he never saw this girl again (he met at his job, and when I found out I gave him an ultimatum to quit and he did that afternoon) But if it were an full blown affari, there is no way I would have gotten past that at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Yes, I stayed after my DH cheated. It wasn't a trust issue for me really. Maybe because at first it was over the internet and then before he went to see her, we talked about it. So it was kind of out in the open. Still I can remember one time when I found out something about the situation it actually knocked the wind out of me. Now I trust him as completely as before, and while our marriage was worse than crappy for a time (mostly because he thought it was over and I wanted to stay together) , we are happy now and things are like they used to be. I just knew that we had been brought together for a reason and I love my DH unconditionally. Not just when it doesn't hurt or when its convienent for me to love him. I am not saying that I wouldn't ever leave him, if he murdered someone, hit me, or hurt our children, I would be gone.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 12:18 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • If you want to know anything else send me a message or check out MY Intro in the seperated group (Spelled wrong on purpose) and it tells the whole story. But I need to go to bed soon.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 12:19 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Why would you give up so easy?

    There is no "one size fits all" answer. It depends on the circumstances, the kind of cheating, and the state of the marriage at the time.

    I don't believe in divorce (or only for extreme circumstances) I will do what it takes to make my marriage work as long as my husband is willing to put 100% into making it work. The one and ONLY reason I would leave is if my husband stopped trying.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 8:53 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN