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Depression and Sex Life of Newlyweds

I am 24 and have been depressed on and off for the past 10 years and lately my lows are pretty low. I absolutely HATE how I look. The size I am, my face, my boobs... you name it. I have been married over 6 months and my husband is completely supportive and will literally cry sometimes if I have a "hysterical crying spell" because I am insistent he would pick someone else if he could or I will look in the mirror and break down. I know I'm hurting him and I feel awful for it but it doesn't change the way I feel about myself.

It is a struggle for me to eat most of the time too. I am 5'8" and weighed 160 pounds when we met. I am now down to under 130 simply from stress, depression and the loss of appetite.

We waited to have sex until we were married and it still hasn't completely occurred due to my 6 month stint with Zoloft which has made my libido drop completely and raised my weight 8 pounds.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • CONTINUED

    I may get a lot of bashing for this but if you haven't been there you have no idea the feelings that go through your head when you literally hate yourself inside and out.

    When we are building up to having sex I just think I don't look like a porn star or some 80 pound celebrity. It's as if nothing my husband says can get through my head.

    It's crazy to see all these words I've written and maybe it just helps to get it out because I'm not sure what the goal is here (especially since this is the tip of the iceberg).

    Any advice is greatly appreciated. : )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • GIRL! i'm 5'6 and WISH that i was your weight!! I weight 150..i weighed 157 at the end of my pregnancy! I weighed 130 before I was pregnant. BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE! I know that it must be hard. My mom has had depression for a very long time and my dad and her have a great sex life. You should look into switching medications forreal. It's messing you up and most likely is NOT working since your very depressed still. I am so sorry to hear this. Keep your head up high, listen to your husband. Love yourself for who you are. I bet you are so beautiful. Everyone is :) Have fun with your new marriage and love life!! Its an exciting adventure!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I hope you feel better! Maybe consult with a counsellor and your ob or which doctor prescribed for you. Those combined, counselling with medication could help. Are there personal interest groups that could be of interest to you? Public libraries have great groups of massive different interests for all sorts of things - maybe one of them too would help you. Hope you feel better soon. Your husband sounds very caring and loving. You're very very lucky to have that.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:39 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Also....sex is ALLLLLL mental hunny. Sometimes, when I'm not in the mood. I think about it too much and then I'm like ugh this is making it worse. But if you just let yourself go and make love...it'll be so amazing. Your husband married you because he loves you for YOU. Making love is not just having sex with someone. It's something SO different that you can't describe. It's amazing and if you just let yourself go and be yourself and love on your hubby you will be soooo happy :) Trust me! Just do it hahah and don't think about anything but your hubby and how much you want him! haha
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Do you not think that your husband is such an incredible man that he COULD have someone else if he wanted? But he doesn't go out and do that - he loves you, he chose you. BTW - 80 lbs is NOT attractive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

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