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So much on my mind I think Im going to go Crazy... I hope someone can give me good advice and guide me as for me Ive lost my way.

My dh cheated about a month ago. We had a perfect relationship, it was all great until that day. I was choked it came out of no where unexpected & not called for. He was drunk (not his excuse) but it destroyed me inside. I dont feel the same Im also 35 weeks pregnant which I think is why Ive stayed. I love him so much which also causes me to stay. He has gotten help counsling and was given meds. for bipolar and schizo. ?? & uppers. We have our first family counsling next week. He stopped working. I dont know if it was a true mistake or something else. I want to leave cuz I feel betrayed , but something holds me back. I make it seem as if Im ok, days I can smile others I just want to cry. I told him I love him so much I would die for him, but at the same time it might be me holding the gun.. He is helping me so much with everything like he always did. Making sure its all ok. I do smile and laugh.Today has been a crying day.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Good Good that counselling is in place. Concentrate now on seconds rest. Relax breathe for a second. You got through that now get through the next second in time. It's really really important to keep that appointment and not back out feeling things are better or not worth going. It's needed because of your baby and your husband's health and yours too.

    Can you apply for aid, do you have insurance? Maybe a friend or a person at Church or Temple could advocate for you and husband and help with calls. appointments if you feel overtired being so pregnant?

    Breathe for a second don't think of anything else. A second of your time has passed. Breathe again for a second. You're closer now to your appointment and baby. Be proud of the steps you've taken for your husband and yourself. Remember to take steps for your baby's well being and Remember TOO to take steps breathing for a second's peace a second's calmness for you.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:52 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Counseling is the right step. Everything you're feeling is normal....as lfl said, relax and breathe for a moment.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:00 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Yeah I agree, counseling is good, and it is very normal to be emotional with being pregnant and of course with finding out about the cheating. It will get easier.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:06 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I don't think you have lost your way. Counseling is a good first step. Don't pretend that you are okay when you feel so hurt. Let it out get your feeling out on the table, otherwise you wont be able to solve this issue. Take it one day, one second at a time. Best of luck muma!
    nikkib4407

    Answer by nikkib4407 at 1:18 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • You were abused. These feelings after that betrayal (both of being abused and cheated on) are VERY VERY normal my advice is to join a domestic violence support group on cafemom. You are not alone and you have every right to feel the way you do. Dont hold it all aside, jst let him know. "I am trying to make things work by going to counseling, bt what you did was incredibly damaging to me. Some days, its going to be rough." Today might be a rough day, tommorrow might be better, jst take it a day at a time. One last thing, while I think counseling is great, if your feelings dont change, or he is abusive again GET OUT! There is nothing wrong with doing what is best for you.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 1:42 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • i wouldnt leave him,i would take time off,move out for a while and tell him he has to be faithful and earn ur trust back,i told my hubby thats what i would do if he ever cheated on me.or even move into an other room
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 12:08 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

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