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Need help with a friends future hubby..

Long story short. I used to work with this girl who I always got along with. We both moved on and lost touch. We found eachother again and have been hanging out. I met her b-friend, father of her son just a while ago. He asked me to meet him at the mall so I could help him pick out an engagement ring. I thought it was weird that he was calling me, but I figured if I could help- then whatever. So I went, and he was a total flirt. He even asked if I could kiss him. Ew! I mean, he's cute and all, but I'm not a homewrecker and I'm happily married. Well now I feel guilty. I shouldn't have gone with him and I didn't even think about it.

Should I tell her, or should I just let it go? Messed up thing is that he still calls me and texts me. I don't reply or answer- but I'm getting fed up with it. Ugh!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would want to know if I were her, wouldn't you? It's up to her what she does with the info, it's out of your hands, but I would tell my friend, Best Friend or not.
    You didn't do anything wrong, so if it backfires on you, it's not your fault.
    What a terrible situation!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:02 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • She's not my best friend.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • My rule usually is if I'm asked I tell. If the one who's being cheated on doesn't ask, I don't tell. BUT in this case you were led to believe that this guy loved and respected your friend. I'd tell her infront of him. Don't make any excuses. She needs to know what will happen to her if she marries him. If he gives her a ring and you don't say anything, she'll accept it.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 2:35 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Leave it. Honestly, she will just think it was your fault, and she will believe him when he denies the whole thing..which he will.
    Get your husband to tell him to leave you alone next time he calls. Stay as far away from the situation as possible.
    dayle7

    Answer by dayle7 at 2:40 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Sounds like a made up fantasy

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I'd likely walk away from both of them, and change my cell number or block his from calling/texting.
    If you tell her, he'll tell her it either didn't happen or that you came on to him. I'd save the bills so if it does come to a head thath you can show that he's been texting/calling, and you've not answered or responded. He'll tell her tho that he just wanted to make up with you, or that you misunderstood something.
    I'd walk away because she's going to believe him and it's going to be drama drama drama and if you haven't already, tell your hubby what's going on before someone else does and he thinks you're guilty of something.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:19 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I would save the messages - including any replies to him that you have sent saying leave me alone (reply it to him and send it to your dh as well if you have to, to make sure that your replies are saved, too).

    Then I would call her to meet for lunch and tell her, plain and simply, that as much as you don't want to hurt her, you are very uncomfortable with the situation, and she needed to be aware of what's going on. Show her the messages. Tell her that you know this has got to be painful for her, and you're sorry, but you have a problem with him harassing you. What she chooses to do with the info is up to her, but she had a right to know.

    Now, it would be different if he was doing this to another friend, and you were the one telling her, but since you're who he's trying to make "the other woman", I don't think it's out of line to tell her.

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:55 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I think it's completely unfair NOT to tell her! Do you want to be there in a year when she divorces him and she says, "I just wish someone had warned me or said something - ANYTHING."

    I truly believe it is your responsibility. No, it is not fun but that's life. There really shouldn't be a question of whether or not you tell her.
    Sara.Robyson

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 9:42 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • It is a terrible situation, because I have a feeling that she's not going to believe me. But why the heck would I lie to her? I also don't want to be involved in this.. ugh! I hate drama. If I'm honest, I'll be losing a good friend for sure and I'll probably be talked about- and that sucks for my family and I. God, this is so hard!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Tell her!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Nov. 8, 2009

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