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What would you do if your DH had a problem with porn and at looking at other women online?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:37 AM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • While I do not believe in divorce, I think this would be one instance where I would separate myself from him with the understanding that it was only until he had asked for and received help. The thing about porn is that it is highly addictive and it will take more and more of it to satisfy him. To me it is no different that if he were lusting after the woman next door or the women he works with. It is an indication of weak character and it says to a man's wife that she is not enough for him, and I think that is just plain wrong. There is no difference in what he is doing that in actually committing acts of adultery, because he is committing adultery in his mind every single time he watches this junk. It's something I don't think I would have ever tolerated for a single minute. There is help available but he has to first want to be helped. I would lay my cards on the table and then find a place to live.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:48 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I would leave him, unless he agreed to get help. Its an addiction like any other addiction, and will destroy your marriage...unless you are totally ok with it, which it dosent sound like your are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Mine does too. You have to consider how often, under what conditions, and for how long. It can escalate into much harder porn. If you don't want him looking at it if it's frequent and/or hurtful or you don't want to join the different looksees available in porn then tell him. If it does it again whether it stays the same or worsens go into counselling as a last resort to help the two of you make decisions.
    Some men can look rarely or occassionally, other are outright addticted and look at porn constantly.

    I made a decision and my life and my family's is much better. Hope yours gets better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • It depends on how you define "problem"... is it a problem simply because he looks at it at all, or is it an addiction? I don't care if DH looks at porn, but he definitely doesn't have a "problem".
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 2:50 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • can someone explain why any of you ok your husband looking at girls doing such filthy things to themselves or performing sexual acts on others,why is it ok to see them doing such things i dont get it,whats even more shameful,why do say stuff like you watch it together?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Would watch it with him it's a great stimulant for both of you.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:14 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • It seems like you've already formed your opinion on the subject now doesn't it? I can't really articulate the inner workings of my mind to explain to you why it doesn't bother me that DH watches it or why it turns me on to watch it with him. I don't think it's shameful, obviously, or I would be posting anon lol.
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 3:27 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Without the Spirit of God living in you, you will not understand that you all are acting like animals. Before God, I did the same things you are talking about, however, I realized how wrong I was.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I've been in this same situation, and had a very bad marraige, eventually I left, but it wasn't just because of the porn, there were a lot of issues. But the porn made me sick, he was constantly lying and hiding it. That is a problem. He would always say he was gonna stop but then do it again.
    Hope you guys get help. I feel for you.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 8:56 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • it's not as bad as him talking to girls on social networks, meeting old girl friends, or new girlfriends, website like adultfinder, then you have a real problem. because you know that the girls on porn our just fantasies... but if he don't want to have sex with you because he would rather watch porn then i'll be upset or if he's a cronic masterbater...

    what pisses me off is that if your going to do it hide that your doing it.. like clearing the history, do it when your not home, clean up after yourself, atleast have some respect for your wife!

    well thats what i do!!
    mellyhayes

    Answer by mellyhayes at 9:12 AM on Nov. 2, 2009

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