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ANSWER FAST PLEASE LADIES

I am due at the end of Dec. My SO & I are haveing our1st girl (2nd child) Anyway he just lost his job a month ago & doesn't do a damn thing to try to find work! Unemployment is an option but unlikely since he can't get his check stubs. I am not working but I am trying to find a job and I am am about to have a baby! He thinks its "not a big deal" but it is I can't rely on my grandmother to keep buying our son dipers and we don't have shit for our daughter who will be here in less than 2months. when I talk to him about finding work online instead of playing a damn video game he blows up on me. I can't live like this anymore. We're are staying at his sisters house on her living room floor. my baby doesn't get any good sleep because of her horrible kids.

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ashnbra1

Asked by ashnbra1 at 3:19 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You can in one hell of a mess, get his lazy bottom of the computer & get a job. With holidays coming , stores are hiring. At least it's a pay check. Gte your own place already.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • O.K go get on welfare and wic. You will should also get disability while you are out for the baby. Only you can decide if this is the way you want to live. You can't make him do anything. But in the mean time you have a child and a baby coming so get the help you need for them.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 3:22 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Well, I was in a situation sort of like that... I left him and I'm getting cash assistance. I can be on that w/out having to work it off for 1 year because I'll have a baby in the home. :)
    Autumn22

    Answer by Autumn22 at 3:26 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • You need to talk to him seriously and explain to him that no matter how mad he gets and no matter how much he doesn't want to look for a job, that you finding one and actually getting one right now may not happen because you are preggers. He also needs to realize that this DOES matter and this IS a big flippin deal. You are carrying his child and he should respect that and want to help you not burden you more. You guys can't keep sleeping on someones floor. not just because of your son, but because you are pregnant and it's not good for you. If and when you try and tell him all this, he doesn't listen, put it in a letter and hand it to him and walk away. I guarantee he will read it... if nothing else out of curiocity. If he still wont help out and get off his a$$ and get a job, I hate to say it but you may be better off somewhere else on your own with just you and your son. Good Luck! Congrats on the baby to be!!!
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 3:27 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • His self-esteem may be rock bottom, and this could be why he doesn't look for a job, he may be afraid that he'll be rejected and have further blows to hurt him. If you discuss this with him, that you love him and know he can find something, it could help him have more confidence. Tell him that it does matter, as I am sure you already have. But I think I'd add that he must start bringing in income or you will be unable to stay with him, since he is at present just deadwood- an extra mouth to feed and not contributing to the household. After the birth of your child, if he wants to be the stay at home dad and take care of all child care and household chores, then OK. You'll need to have a job regardless for your protection and that of your children- making sure there is income.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:29 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Your in a bad situation. Where I live there are apartments for women and their children that are homeless. Try finding all your options even if you have to move to another city. Apply for section 8 apartments. Your rent is 1/3 your income 1/3 of 0 is 0. We have live in two very nice section 8 apartment complexes. Do you know how to find out about all these things.

    Go on Craigslist and ask for baby items. People may give you things. People will send you bad emails but there may be someone that gives you things.

    Find him a job. Go out and get job applications and fill them out. Have him sign them and turn them in. Places like Subway are always hiring.

    If at all possible leave him then file for custody and child support. That will make him have to work. He is no go to you now.



    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:32 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Unemployment usually doesn't require a paystub, just the contact info of the last employer.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:33 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • sell the computer?? tell him if you cant support the second child you will get a wealthy family to provide for it...play hard ball.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:40 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I don't think unemployment requires checkstubs, like gdiamante said.

    I'm going to be very honest and just say that you are obviously not in a good place with his sister, who I can't imagine should be happy that her brother and his family are on her floor. I wouldn't be but that might just be me. If I were her, I'd be kicking his ass off that video game and out to get a job. I'd suggest trying one more time to reason with him then tell him he's on his own and you and your child leave. It might take that to get him in gear. There is zero reason for him to be this lazy and I don't think it's alright to get PA just because he doesn't want to find a job. I'm sorry because it looks like you're in for some hard times. I hope he gets it together. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • WOW I AM SO SORRY UR GOING THROUGH THIS SWEETIE BUT JUST SOME FYI.. I GOT LAID OFF FROM MY JOB IN MARCH OF 2009 DUE 2 THE ECONEMY... I FILED FOR UNEMPLOYMENT ADN COULDNT FIND MY PAY CHECK STUBS AND I STILL RECIEVE UNEMPLOYMENT.. U AHVE 2 OPTION AS FAR AS THAT GOES.. 1.) CONTACT HUMAN RECOURCES AT HIS OLD JOB AND TELL THEM HE NEEDS PROOF OF HIS IMCOME WHIEL HE WAS THERE AND THEY WILL PROVIDE HIM WITH THAT..2.) UNEMPLOYMENT CAN ALSO AS FOR THAT INFORMATION..
    NOW AS FAR AS UR MAN BEING LAZY AND NOT WORKING..HE SHOULD BE IN FULL BLOWN PANIC MODE BY NOW HIS 2ND CHILD IS GOING 2 B HERE B4 HE KNOWS IT AND THE MAN IN HIM SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWING HIM 2 SIT AROUND ALL DAY PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WHEN IT DOESNT PAY THE BILLS.. U NEED TO PUT UR FOOT DOWNA ND TELL HIM 2 SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT I JUST HAD TO DO IT 2 MY PARTNER.. IM NOT PLAYING THAT MESS
    iluvmytater00

    Answer by iluvmytater00 at 5:13 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

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