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Why did i react this way???

He is not very nice, he is abusive, emotionally and mentally. I try to communicated with him to try to have things be better. Then he said that he was breaking up with me. I completely broke down. I was crying and begging him not to. I wasnt trying to get him to break up with me I was just trying to get things to get better. After 10 minutes of blaming myself for the things that have been happening wrong he finally says that he isnt breaking up with me. That he accepts my apology. But in all reality it is his fault...and why did I react so stupidly? I cant believe that I apologized for his behavior. What is wrong with me? Am I really that dependant on him that I will apologize for his wrong doings? Can anyone help me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Your self esteem is very low and yes you are very dependant on him. you need to time to love and respect yourself. Id consider counseling. For YOU not the relationship GL Ive been there and youll get past this as did I

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:34 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Don't let him get to you. If your gut instinct is saying IT IS HIS FAULT, it is!! You blaming yourself for HIS actions doesnt help / solve the problem. He's got you, and he knows it. Show him who is boss (YOU) and tell him how it is. You are stronger than you think you are. He is a guy who apparently needs someone to control, and right now he is controlling you. Good luck.

    Answer by ashleyxo8 at 6:41 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I want to leave but I am scared to. I dont know what to do. I dont have a job that i can rely on. How did i get such low self esteem. I use to be a totally confident independent woman.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • What is making you so scared? Do you guys live together? There are other solutions to the problem. Maybe leaving him is best. Don't be in a relationship you know isnt right for you.

    Answer by ashleyxo8 at 6:52 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Leave him and you will eventually get that confidence back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • You basically just answered your own question. You know that it's wrong for the way your acting, you just won't do anything about it. If you really wanted to leave you would.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 6:54 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Stockholm Syndrome:

    When people are threatened, continuously, at the foundation of their lives where they most need to feel secure (home invasions, kidnappings, abusive relationships), in order to feel secure and safe they turn to their captors and torturers and seek their approval. They go to great lengths to show how they are on their abuser's side, how they'll make sure no one finds out, not tell on them or lie for them so they'll be free.

    When the victims are at the mercy of their captors, they need their continued kind regard in order to survive --or so they believe. Even if you can intellectually see that it's a fallacy, and that he's 100% of the risk in your life, you are still in a psychological position to need him on your side, at least when he's a real threat: when he knows where you are and when he's in front of you.

    You need protection, the kind that gets the syndrome to see that you're protected from it.

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:13 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

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