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What do i do with a 3yr that just will not Listen at all?

Spanking didnt work. Time outs did not work at all. Giving her options Not a help at all. We know she knows what no means. She is way smart but OMG she does not listen at all.

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Asked by blbyford at 6:40 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • She may not listen, but she's speaking volumes:

    You are not the boss of me.
    Where is my power?
    Who say so?
    How come you always get to pick?

    Read Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting" if you seek a way of staying influential in your child's life rather than trying to control her, and having her prove to you with every waking breath that you cannot control her.

    You can't control her. I promise.

    I have known children who were so determined to be heard and understood that they were beaten to death by their parents, who were equally convinced that controlling her was their job. They just never, ever understood that you can't teach a child to control herself by controlling her. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:06 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Learn some new parenting skills. Punishment doesn't teach good behavior. You want her to obey, not to listen.

    A great book is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called Star Parenting. You can print out a parenting chart for your fridge to get you started.

    Answer by Gailll at 7:09 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • wow.....harsh. Give her some credit. She's doing what she can here. Parents aren't natural born perfection. It kind of seems like you're not being consistent. She's 3, and can effectively communicate. Have you been limiting your choices to 2? I always give 3 options. You can wear this shirt, this shirt, or I will pick one out, or You can bring your puppy in the car, a book, or you can have nothing. It's basically 2 of their choices, and if that doesn't fly, it's mom's choice. (my option is usually nothing, or bed) Just remember there are situations where they should have freedom and some where they should not. Set the boundaries yourself. Time-outs only work for me when I have a timer and they have a visual. After the timer is up, we talk about what we did wrong and why it is wrong. You want them to openly communicate, so I openly communicate with them. Hopefully that's a start.

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 8:53 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Hi there I hope this goes to the right spot sorry new mom here, I would like to chat with you I can help lets chat I can help

    Answer by missmolly376 at 2:47 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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