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Would you think your SO is cheating with this behavior?

My SO has been very distant since about my seventh month of pregnancy.He started falling asleep on the couch. When asked about it he stated that he just falls asleep watching tv. So I came up with an alternative, watch movies in the bedroom, which I was not to find of! But we tried and he still after about only a few weeks started sleeping on the couch again. My baby is 8 weeks old and he still is sleeping on the couch. I wake him up to come to bed and every now and then he will come in. I need help sadly enough I have never went through someones phone but I finally broke down and looked. I found nothing...but things can be earased also! What do you think about this situation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • How about talking to him about it...maybe you are a restless sleeper now...are you co-sleeping with the baby? Maybe it keeps him awake? I wouldn't think that he is cheating as my DH slept on the couch because I couldn't get comfortable when I was 8 months so he gave up the bed for me...

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:28 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Ask him. Maybe he was sleeping on the couch before to make sure you had plenty of room to rest. Possibly he is confused or scared about being a Daddy. Maybe he thinks you and the baby will sleep better without him in there. I don't really know what else I'd ask him.

    Answer by Katlyne120806 at 7:30 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I would NOT think of this as cheating. Heck no. My husband and I often sleep apart from each other because we sleep better that way!

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:30 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • But I'll agree with the others..ask him. "Is there a problem? Am I snoring? Am I kicking you?"

    And reassure him that NOTHING he tells you about your sleep behavior will neither embarrass or upset you. No one's in control of themselves when they sleep!

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:31 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • If he's home every night, and you haven't found any evidence of cheating, I wouldn't worry! He could be stressed and trying to give you space--you're up frequently throughout the night, and he probably gets uninterrupted sleep being on the couch.

    Best to discuss instead of assuming the worst! First children take a lot of time to "get in sync/get on a schedule." Does your SO feel he has a role, or do you do everything? Give him a job. I know my husband would take the 4 or 5 AM feeding (expressed breastmilk ahead of time, which he then fed our sons by bottle), allowing me to "sleep in" for a couple of hours until he went to work.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:33 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • talk to him!! my husband sleeps on the couch only when he's mad at me... but usually only for that day. i'm 30 weeks and we sleep in a full size bed the whole night i'm tossing and turning but he still sleeps with me. is he distant with you during the day? do yall still have sex?

    Answer by mellyhayes at 7:39 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Men sometimes handle being a new parent differently than women do. After all, they haven't experienced pregnancy in the same way women have. Maybe he is just feeling out of place, or having a hard time adjusting to all the changes. Talk to him and let him know that you miss the way things were. Chances are he misses that too and just doesn't know how to let you know. Maybe he's worried about how you will handle the news and he doesn't want you to be upset. Don't think the worst. Usually if there is adultery/infidelity there are many signs you would be picking up on.

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 7:44 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

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