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Would you say I'm over reacting?

Hi cafe Mom, I have a boyfriend who I've been dating for three years. In the past he has cheated on me, but I learned how to forgive. Now he is in the U.S Navy and is stationed in Connecticut. Recently, I was bored so i went on a site called Myspace and i had typed in his email and was just typing in random passwords(I know very immature of me to do this) and i got in his account. SO I'm reading his sent messages and i notice that he is messaging random girls in Connecticut either saying "whats good?" or "Hey baby girl) Now I don't know if I should react to this because every time he comes to New York we're always together and he always show his love for me but I just don't understand why he's hitting on girls when I'm the girl he "loves."

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Hmm. Ever heard the old saying about the sailor with a girl in every port?

    You've been dating him, it seems.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:45 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • jeez i was over my daughters house and she said mom look at my bil face book.OMG..all scantly clad dressed woman.saying just about the same thing..my thought is where is his wife.who i know and dont blame him for this.but i think i would ask him if he has an account..dont say that you saw it just ask if he has it..start there.
    cleo1977

    Answer by cleo1977 at 7:45 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • He's a flirt. He is def tryin to hook up. Long distance relationships hardly ever work.
    Mrs.Oriaku

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 7:46 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Well me and him are actually engaged with a one and a half daughter.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I'm going to get right down to it. If he loves and care for you, there is no way in hell he should be calling other women "baby girl", this guy is clearly a flirt. Also I live in Virginia, a state where military men are well known, and most of them never committ. Talk to him, do not hold back, ask him what the hell is going on with him. You have the right to know. Stand your ground girl, ask him what the hell is his problem. You're not over reacting, you're protecting your heart, no crime in that.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 7:52 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I have many times! He says "I'm not cheating on you, I worked so hard to get you back in my life and I don't want to mess that up" Ladies when I say he cheated on me i can't even count on my fingers anymore and I know i should leave but I'm not by myself anymore we have a child and I do love him very much. He also said that me bringing up the past was getting old. That's when we were arguing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • He DID mess it up.

    There's forgiveness and then there's getting walked on.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:10 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Sometimes you have to say enough is enough. Obviously you don't trust him, and with great reason. My ex was the same way, but I didn't find out until we had a newborn and I caught a girl messaging his myspace constantly. I didn't even know he knew what it was! Either way, do you want to be cheated on? Do you want DD to see him treating you like this? Would you be upset if she grew up thinking it was okay? You deserve better, you've done all you can to make it work with him. He's the one that can't do right by you, so do right by you and DD. She can still have her dad, but you don't have to be together. Things with him will not get better, he lost you once and this is what he did when he got you back?
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 8:36 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • If he is in the military and you have a child together and he loves you he would marry you so you would have military benefits. What's up with that?
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:48 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • Time to move on honey, if he wanted to be with you he would marry you.
    Once bitten, twice shy as they say.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

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