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How would you handle this?

This is the first year of school for my five year old. From early on he decided he had a girlfriend and a few weeks into school he tells me that he tried to kiss her and that the teacher told him he couldn't. SO , I explained to him that he only needs to kiss his family. We start off trying to teach our kids to be affectionate and loving and then we have to turn it off. Well, the other night while trick-or-treating we go to this girls house (Never met her or the family) My son blurts out that she is his girlfriend and that he tried to kiss her. Well, he comes home from school tonite and tells me that she told him that her Mom said he can't play with her anymore. He then tells me that she was making fun of him (he had a fat lip from dental work today) and a few other boys too. The girl sits at the same table as my son. So my question is what would you do in this situation? Would you tell your kid not to play w/mine?

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lovinmymason

Asked by lovinmymason at 11:05 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • No, I would not but I have a little experience with the reverse by a little girl kissing my son but she added to it by lifting her shirt and on it goes. I told him just to say "I don't want to kiss you, thanks." and I've told him it's okay to play with her but to say that he's not comfortable with any kissing and that we don't do that at school. Now I'm no expert and you're right, we teach them love and then pull a bait and switch but I would handle this if I were you ASAP because the school won't allow it and it'll be bad on your son if you don't come up with a kind and sensitive explanation. Good luck, I know, it sucks.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:09 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • The kissing thing happened over two months ago..the school never contacted me. He told on himself. I don't think that is an issue anymore. It just frusterates me that a parent acts like my kid is bad or a pervert or whatever and yet the little girl is mean. This isn't the first time he has told me she has been mean to him.
    lovinmymason

    Answer by lovinmymason at 11:15 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • I would try to call the girls parents and just talk-mother to mother- and see if you two can come to an agreement on how you'd like to approach the situation. I would not tell my child to not play with yours given that info. My son actually came home from school in kindg. with some of the same "thoughts'. he said a frined of his has a girlfriend and he kissed her. I told my son that i think his friend is telling a fib b/c you cannot kiss anyone other than mom or dad, that it's not apporpriate and in school, you would get in trouble. that seemed to be enough for him.

    jeanclaudia...now, if my son told me what yours did (the lifting the shirt thing), i would be a bit more upset. I would then call the other parent and explain to them that i find it to be innappropriate and if continues, then i will tell my son not to play with her. I would also inform the teacher of this.
    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 11:18 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • lovinmymason...i don't see what your son did as anything but innocent learning. However, if this girl is still teasing him, than she is bullying him. I would talk to the principal if it continues.

    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 11:23 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • No , I had the first boy kiss me at 4 my mom saw it as cute and innocent He actually tried to kiss my cheek and I moved he barely grazed my lips. It isn't like at that age they understand. However I did stop my dd from playing with a six yr old when he tried to take her pants off and said he was going to have sex with her. She was 3 and freaked out and I almost killed him. I told his dad and he said that is what girls are for F***ing.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 11:47 PM on Nov. 2, 2009

  • It may not be your son's behavior that is the issue. It could be that her parents see that she is doing something wrong and are making her stay away from him to keep it from happening. I have had to this more than once and the other child/parents always take it the wrong way. You really should talk it out with the parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I agree with what a lot of these moms are saying. You need to discuss it with the little girls mom then go from there. You can't expect little kids to handle it themselves.
    midnightshadow2

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 10:28 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • My son kept wanting to kiss his "girlfriends" but I've told him in no uncertain terms is he EVER to kiss them without their momma's or daddy's permission LOL. When he told me he had kissed a girlfriend, he had to admit and apologize to her parents (this only happened once) and say that he would ask permission next time. I've actually gotten a lot of compliments about this. He is VERY good about minding the rule.

    crittermomma

    Answer by crittermomma at 11:39 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

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