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follow up from yesterdays disaster

Yesterday i posted a question about my son walking in on us in the act. I have gotten a lot of great advice and i apprecaite and it has calmed me down. But, my son is still sooo mad and thinks my son did it on purpose to break it up because hes weirded out by the idea of his parents doing it. My son is mad at us because he thinks we should have said something when he knocked I swear we never heard him knock and im not sure he ever did. I totaly blame my self as soon as my hubby pulled my little undies down i said "hun lock the door" he said not to worry because our son was upstaris sleeping I should ahve insisted that he lock the door or were not having sex. My fam fighting is the thing i hate the most any adcive on what i can do to calm this situationdown and get my family back to normal. Also do oyu think my son didto it on purpose?

Answer Question
 
luckyblueeyeris

Asked by luckyblueeyeris at 11:52 PM on Nov. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Why is there fighting? Why is your SON the one who is mad? He is the one that opened the door without permission. You did nothing wrong and it shouldn't matter if the door was locked or not, he shouldn't have come in without permission.
    Gealach

    Answer by Gealach at 12:01 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I have a friend and when her daughter was 13 she walked in on them.She was supposed to be at a friends but walked home to get a dvd so they had not locked the bedroom door.Her daughter was mad for weeks, she told her mom that it was GROSS and they had better not do 'it' when she was asleep .One of her bedroom wall shared a wall with her parents, no beds were next to that wall.Apparently it was ok if she was out of the country lol.Her mom would very simply apologize for the embarrassment,assure that accident would not happen again and remind her they were married and their sex life didn't concern her.Your husband is upset and like most guys wants to blame someone else,like your son is doing also.There is a bit of blame on everyone but your husband, being the adult.,should calmly apologize explain what yall are doing on your part to prevent it again and what your son can do also then move on.Do not let him engage yall .

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • honestly i appreciate you guys being so nice but honestly this is my fault for not making my husband get up and lock the door i should have insisted and said if you dont lock it we arent having any sex tonight but i got in the mood too and said whatever. Is my son wrong for being mad? Guys be honest thanks so much.
    luckyblueeyeris

    Answer by luckyblueeyeris at 1:24 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Yes it is your fault. I also find it very odd that you are so explicit about sharing your very personal details one day after you join Cafe Mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • My husband and I have been caught once or twice, but our children's reactions were much different. They all had a good laugh on us! Many kids are weirded out over the concept of their parents having sex, so I say to my kids "how do you think you got on this earth? Not osmosis!" and I leave it at that. My sex life is my adult personal activity and no explanation is needed, nor an apology. He should not of opened that door, if no one answered him. Privacy in my house is mandatory, when it comes to closed doors that lead to bedrooms. I would just let the subject go. If he brings it up, simply say, that you are an adult and you happen to enjoy your adult activities. End of story.
    momsbreak5654

    Answer by momsbreak5654 at 3:38 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • You know for years this has been my biggest fear, a lot of times killing the mood in the process. Our children do not want to even think or consider their parents doing it, it is gross to them and an overload of info they don't want to hear much less see! I would just drop it for now, he will get over it, I bet ya that next time he either will not go to your room or at least knock and wait for a reply before entering!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:17 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • the kid will get over it....if that is the worst thing he ever sees, consider yourself lucky. of course noone wants their kid to walk in on them, but it happens and the bigger deal you make of it, the worse he will think of it. its not like you were shooting up drugs or having an orgy...a normal part of a healthy marriage and that's it. i walked in on my mom and dad at 13 and sure i was freaked out at the time but i got over it because they didn't make a big deal out of it. so just chill out.
    phantomphan

    Answer by phantomphan at 9:12 PM on Nov. 5, 2009

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