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What do I do, when a step child is lying on me and getting the law involved because his mother is coaching him to do so?

The biological mother has set up the youngest child to come over to their fathers house which the biological father and I are together residing in the same household and have 2 children together. The mother doesnt like me and is very controlling when it comes to her ex who is now my husband. She has been using the children as a tool to get to him and control what he does like who he is with and whhat he does and things like that. She has told the child to come over here act up and come back hom and tell her that I hit him. This is not rtrue and evedryone including the father knows it not true. She has now kept the children rom coming back over and has the law involved now and its bull shit .

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Asked by MonkeyMomma1982 at 12:46 AM on Nov. 3, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • First off, delete this q and repost anon. You don't want it to get into court that you are talking about her and her kids on a public forum.

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:51 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Don't fall into the trap she is setting for you, go to the sherrifs office and volunteer to take a lie detector test to prove you have not struck the child, she will be brought out into the light for what she really is. Coaching a child to lie is low down, looks like it is up to the father to handle this with his EX> She is an EX for a reason obviously. I went thru something similiar I feel your pain just don't sink to her level, that would do her to much good. You are innocent and have nothing to fear. Treat your step children with all the love and give them all the positive attention they must not be getting a her house. They can't hate you if you are super step mom! Its awful to be in your situation but in time it can be worked thru. Be the bigger person, the police see all types of people in their line of work and I' m sure they see what she is trying to do.

    Answer by 1countrygal at 1:02 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I sure hope their investigation doesn't lead them to the web and this site. More ammo for her that you're talking about the kids on the web.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • This is a place where women go for advice. Telling this poor step mom that this place is more ammo is wrong. She didn't say anything mean, she stated facts here. She is asking for help, not more frustration! Shame on some of you! MonkeyMomma, I am a step mom too. Her mom's just an idiot and wouldn't dare try that. You need to just let her have it out. I would approach her in a public meeting place and let her state her problem with you. Just let her vent and after she's done maybe you guys can work this out. Just be the adult, make the first move and see where it goes from there. Carry a recorder in your pocket in case if she does admit something then take that to the cops, but go there with intent to resolve and move on, not sabbotage.

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 10:17 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • OMG! You don't have to post anon.. You said nothing wrong at all!! This is ridiculous! My SS's mom used to do the same thing. Tell him that he didn't have to listen to me and I don't get to tell him what to do.. So of course he would come over and jump all over the hosue and tell me that his mom said not to listen to me. That didn't last long at all. How old is your stepkid? I'm so sorry your going through this, I know it's stressful. I don't think that they can keep them from you because of what the child is saying though.. Is that legal? My husbands ex has tried so much crap and all the talking about me and trying to find reasons that her son shouldn't come over to our house but it didn't fall through. We even got a lawyer to make sure that she couldn't keep him from us because she tried the same thing! I'm so sorry your going through this!

    Answer by PeytonsMom21109 at 10:18 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • First, never be left alone with the child. Second, let them investigate. State the facts and your belief that she is coaching her son and let them take it from there. That can really come back and bite her later. Also try to be in public places/lots of people around so they can cooberate that no you did not hit soso and said date.
    Also document -- when he comes over the date/times/what happend (who was there, where did you go, any issues and how they were resolved/child's general appearance and aspect etc.)

    Curious --- at the beg. you said" has set up the youngest child to come over to their fathers house ....
    and at the end...
    She has now kept the children rom coming back over
    so there is more than 1 child involved in the visits????
    BTW, not so sure she can refuse to let the kids see their dad. He should ask CPS I don't believe she can do that barring a court order/CPS judgement etc

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 12:49 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • You have your own children. they are not abused or neglected. Dont worry about it. the truth will come out.

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 1:57 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • The truth doesn't always come out and even if it does you guys could lose custody. My brother went through this with his ex wife. They divorced he moved on got remarried, bought a house and had three kids with the new wife. His ex had 3 more kids too with random guys and was miserable. She was angry at him and wanted to hurt him because his life was going so well. She got her daughter to lie and say my brother molested her. Thankfully she is not a bright woman and got her dates confused my bothers current wife thought the ex was a low life and documented every time the daughter was in the home and what they did. She produced that and on all 5 occasions the my niece was not in their home but with her mother. My brother still lost visitation. The judge felt the mother had alienated her so much she should not be around him or his other kids. So be careful and plan for the worst. Some women use kids to play games.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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