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I am against CIO, but we NEED her to sleep! I really need advice with this one.

I am having a very hard time right now. My daughter wont go to bed until between 1 and 3 am, and even though she sleeps until the next afternoon, the rest of the family is suffering. DH is lucky if he gets 4 hours of sleep because she's up and is frequently more than an hour late to work because of it. He is going to lose his job. I have my two year old (goes to bed at 8) to take care of and I just can't run on a few hours of sleep. I know some women can do it, and I really envy you. I am anemic for one so I'm always tired anyway. I have tried EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF and NOTHING works! Waking her up early doesn't make her go to bed early, she just stays grouchy all day and is even more difficult to deal with. She's not colicky, she's just loud when she plays. We are still EBF (she's 9 months old, doesn't get any solids, can't have them yet, that's another story) and she used to cosleep but that doesn't work anymore because

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Nov. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (27)
  • waking her up early one or two days is not going to make a difference. You've got to constantly enforce a schedule. Wake her up early, keep her up. Nap at a specific time, then go to bed at a specific time. It will take up to 3 weeks for her to adjust, but you HAVE to stay steady. Don't give in and let her sleep til the next afternoon. Seriously, if you slept til 3 would you want to go BACK to bed at 9? You'll just have to deal with the crankiness for a while, but it will get her into a schedule you can deal with. good luck
    6under1roof

    Answer by 6under1roof at 1:50 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • she has fallen off the bed more than once. We do have rails up, it doesn't help. She pulls herself up on them and flips over. We don't stop her because we are that damn tired that unless somebody is screaming we don't wake up. My poor son has to cry and bang on his door before it will wake me, and this is with a baby monitor! We set 3 different alarms and sleep right through them, and my grandmother even calls in the morning to wake us up. Sometimes we answer, usually not. I am at a total loss. I have always been against CIO and it breaks my heart to think of her cries not being answered, but my whole family is suffering and I don't know what to do. Some of you may think I'm over exaggerating and it isn't that bad, but it truly is. My DH WILL lose his job if we don't get sleep, and I WILL lose my mind. I admire the women who can run on little sleep but we can only do it for so long. I just don't know what else to do but to
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • close the door and shut off the light at the same time every night and refuse to go back in there. I know if I try it I will feel horrible and probably cry myself to sleep too, but what other options do I have? I'm posting this anon because I'm really upset about this and I've posted many times in CIO debates. I wont touch them anymore. We never thought we would ever consider this and I feel awful about it. Please don't be mean to me, no matter what you suggest, I am really struggling right now. I'm not asking you to agree with me, just understand as a mom that this is something I feel strongly about (I'm sure you have things like that too) and I am torn. I need advice and encouragement.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • "waking her up early one or two days is not going to make a difference. You've got to constantly enforce a schedule. Wake her up early, keep her up. Nap at a specific time, then go to bed at a specific time. It will take up to 3 weeks for her to adjust, but you HAVE to stay steady. Don't give in and let her sleep til the next afternoon. Seriously, if you slept til 3 would you want to go BACK to bed at 9? You'll just have to deal with the crankiness for a while, but it will get her into a schedule you can deal with. good luck"

    We did it consistently for 5 weeks. It's just not working.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • have you tried sleeping with her? perhaps one of those aquarium night lights? over stimulate her with playing and educational baby shows, rocking her(if you have a rocking chair), warm milk. also ask her doc for an eval, and go from there. you are neglecting them because of your exaustion, and could lose them both! you are going through alot and dealing with alot!!! but you need help. she might be an insomniac, or she doesn't want to be alone. i know its hard, and i appreciate your dilema! play soft music or classical music at bed time, give her a warm bath( warmer than luke warm but not too hot) and try the johnson & johnson or store brand of the calming nite time bath. but i truly would speak to the doc about what you guys are going through and her sleeplessness, there's got to be a solution!!! don't give up just yet!!! try every possibility before you throw in the towel; please!!!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 2:06 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • so why is your husband not getting any sleep? I'd say start there. Perhaps you need to sleep in the living room for a while and let him sleep in the bedroom with no monitor or distractions. Is she in a crib? Try getting one of those toys- I love the Fisher Price Aquarium- that hooks to the crib that will play soft music or ocean noise. Do you breastfeed just before bed? My kids sleep better right after they nurse. Maybe talk to the ped. Or give her a bit of benadryl about 20 minutes before bed time. Just 1/2 a dose to get her drowsy. Sure, some moms may bash "oh you're medicating your baby omg you evil woman" but if you're that desperate it IS an effective side effect.
    6under1roof

    Answer by 6under1roof at 2:06 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I feel for you, we have been trying to break Alex our soon to be 8 month old of co sleeping. For us it is not as bad as you are in, but we cant even lay him in the crib for a second before he screams bloody murder. I myself cannot stand to let him cry, and my fiance wants to be back in his own bed. Since I have been co sleeping I kicked him out because I feared he would roll on Alex. Now here we are just plain screwed (parton my language) I have no clue where to even start. On top of trying to break him of co sleeping he has also been staying up later all of a sudden. In fact he is happily bouncing away as I type and it is one in the morning here. I am at a loss, I just hope this is a phase and will pass soon. (He has his first tooth finally coming through)
    Zoeybug

    Answer by Zoeybug at 2:06 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I know I am a little off topic, just chalk it up to lack of sleep.
    Full time mom, full time nursing student, and work on the weekends.
    Zoeybug

    Answer by Zoeybug at 2:09 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • to zoeybug- do you have the crib in your room? It seemed an easier transition for my kids from my bed to their own in small steps- start with the crib right next to your bed so that you can reach in and touch him and vice versa- so he knows you're still there. He'll cry and scream, but you're right there comforting him and reassuring him that you're not going anywhere. In time he'll get used to it, then you can move the crib across the room. When he's comfortable with that, then move him into his own room. It's hard on babies to be used to sleeping right in the nook of your breast then suddenly all alone in a strange environment. They need your comfort.
    6under1roof

    Answer by 6under1roof at 2:11 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Talk to your pediatrition. If you can, take the baby and spend a few nights elsewhere, so your hubby can get some sleep. This might break the baby's routine too, and enable you to start fresh. Otherwise, do what you can to change things up in the crib. A different blanket (change the material...) A white noise device of some sort, try a radio on a classic music station. A musica mobile if you don't have one....GL.

    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 2:15 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

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