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Depression with my husband gone in Afghanistan.

I am a military wife and my husband has been gone for 6 months now and in that time i have has a beautiful baby boy. I am going to be seen for depression soon. I want to know if i need my husband home to help me deal with this depression how would i go about getting that done. I know that the military realy doesnt care about the mental well being of the spouses because there are plenty of women who make it through but im having a lot of trouble. I am only 18 and me and my husband have been married for a year and i dont think i can handle this much longer. Does anyone know how likely it is that the military will send him home.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on Nov. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • you need to be strong for your child. im a military vet/military spouse. get out more. you need to be more active. sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself does not help and i dbout your being very active. when you feel down, play with your kid or write him a leter. send him tons of care packages. get involved with your local FRG (family readiness group) they help with stuff like that.
    part of being a military wife is your duty to your husband, you have to man up so to speak and be stronger than this. their are women that are 18 and pregnant with a husband deployed, at least your chid is their with you not giving you morning sickness. im not trying to be a biatch im being a realist. you either strengthen up, tell yourself you can do this and become a strong military wife for your husband and kids sake......or you two will end up in a bad spot marriage wise. he cant run to save you and military marriages fail for this reaso
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:25 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • being a military spouse is not the easiest route to go family wise. but you married a soldier. you are now a part of the military in your own way and a huge support system for you. he is in the middle of afgh. without his child and wife , how do you think he feels? at least you have your child.
    YOU NEED TO FIND SOME INNER STRENGTH. this exact thing braks up so many military marriages, makes so many military children feel neglected or confused because your child needs your strength and your falling apart. go buy a book on being a military wife, seriously. and get to know your neigihbors, get to know the other wives in his ocmpany and do it now.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:27 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I am about to go through our 2nd deployement. I know how you feel. My Dh deployed 9 days after our son was born, but I was lucky enough to go back home to live near my mom and sister. If thats at all an option for you I would seriously look into it. Sorry to tell you that there is no way they are sending your husband home because you are depressed. I dont want to say suck it up, but in the military you really have to. You need to get out more, if its a movie with some girls, wandering around the mall. A mommy and me playgroup for you and your child, I believe alot of places have mommy and me yoga too. get involved in your Family Readiness Group (or your branches equivilant) Go for a drive. A change of scenery will do alot of good. Dont sit at home with a carton of haggen das in the dark in your jammies. Seriously get out of the house! join a book club. Your base will have so many options for spouses left behind.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:31 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • make this look pretty on WORD and print it out and hang it.
    A Military Wife’s Creed


    I am an American Soldier’s Wife!
    I keep the team at home together for you
    I serve my Soldier in Army ways
    and do what is expected of me on the home front.
    I will always keep my mission of a loving home
    for when you return and longer.
    I will NEVER quit or leave or lose our love for each other.
    I will knowingly take your responsibilities on as if you are here yourself.
    I will take myself to the heights you have taken me and not fall.
    I am an expert as your wife and I am a professional at taking care of your home and children while you are away.
    I stand ready for any and all situations which may arise.
    I am the guardian of my husbands home and love…
    I am an American Soldier’s Wife
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:32 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • read that daily and really take heart what it means. when i faced hard tims in the army i would recite the warrior ethos in my head..it helped..... this is the wives creed so to say. its not official or anything but still.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 4:33 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • cont... I have to go through this deployment while in a different country! So I am NOwhere near my family! You really have to be strong for your child and your husband. How do you think he feels that your sitting comfy at home complaining about being depressed while he is sleeping down range from the poop pond? Dont complain to your husband, he really needs to focus on his mission and if he is worried about you and your child and not on the mission someone could get hurt.
    Stay strong for you, your baby and your husband
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:34 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • You knew what and who you were marrying before you married him. Why are you gonna take his dreams away from him he is serving and protecting the country we live in and you want to be a selfish. You made the choices you choose to marry him you both choose to have a child with the knowing that he may have to go and serve his country. You need to pull yourself together and be strong. At least you can kiss your LO every night he can't put yourself in his shoes for a minute and then you will realize that you aren't so bad off. I am not trying to hurt your feelings but come on girl you need to be strong for your child and for him when he comes home.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Sorry to hear your depressed...it might be post partum? I have to agree with the others, you have to be strong not only for you but for your child and your husband. It's good that you're getting to be seen for depression. I think they have the pastor or counsel on base that you could talk to too if it gets really hard. And you also have to stay busy...it will be hard, but you have to try. If you have family and close friends near by, go to them and let them know you need their support. They won't send your hubby home unless an immediate family is very ill and dying. Depression doesn't fit that category. And it's true what another said. Don't let him know you can't handle it, that will make him worry about you and shift his focus to you than the mission he has at hand. Stay strong, you can do it, and in no time he'll be home soon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I was in the Army and now i am an army spouse. I know what your going through. My husband was deployed with me the first time when i was in and he is about to go again. They will not bring him back because your depressed. Talk to your doctor about it. There are so many support groups on base that you can go to for help with how you are feeling. It has already been 6 months so your just about half way done. Youll be ok. Talk to your doctor and get some anti depressents. And get active on base. Take your kids to the park, Do some volenteer work. Andything to get you out of the hosue and moving. The more you just sit home the harder it is.Im sure you know other people whose husband is deployed also. Talk to them. They all know what your going through and they are all there supporting eachother. But stay strong. Alot of people say that deployments are harder on the family then the soldier. And im starting to agree with that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

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