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her son is way behind developmentally..their is a program here to help, tell her?

this womans son is a few days older than my daughter. i am not comparing him to my daughters is ahead of development so i am only going by what doctors etc. say his age should be doing. he is way behind....WAY BEHIND. i dont mean fy a month or two, he is like a year behind. the thing is i know he is smart, i spent 10 min with him and taught him new words, some colors etc. he has the potential his mother is just lazy and doesnt do anythign but lock him alone in his room or turn on tv. their is a program here for his age range that is specifically for kids who are a little behind developmentally , not handicapped. i know it would be good for him but how do you bring something like this up? if she doesnt do this...her son is going ot have issues. he just needs some help. many of us have tried suggestng books..reading...coloring, normal things, she's too lazy for any of it. i dont want to insult her but he needs hlep


Asked by Anonymous at 6:34 AM on Nov. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • There is no easy way to bring it up. Sometimes all you can do is either tell her about it and how you feel. Or just stay out of it. I know its hard to sit there and not do anything but sometimes thats all you can do. A friend of mines son is the same way. I brought it up to her and told her she should talk to his doctor about it. The doctor agreed but she still didnt do anything. This was before i had my son and i always went with my friend to one of these classes your talking about to help her with her other kids. But i told her if she cant take him that we would give her a ride there or take him if there is something that she has to do and cant take him there. In just a few weeks she saw a huge difference and started taking him all the time. But she was mad at me for a little bit that i put my nose where is shouldnt have been. But we have both moved since then and he is still going to classes and doing great.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • i think the best thing you can do is stay out of it...the child isnt mentally handicapped obviously if hes picking up on things you are showing by showing the parent the things your talking about she might think your saying her child needs help, he doesnt he just needs extra attention. If she had been talking to you about how the pediatritian was saying he is delayed or has other issues you looking up info for her is great and then a good idea to bring it up because its helpful. But what you are doing isnt right...even though you say your not you ARE comparing your child to hers and thats not right at all because every child develops in thier own daughter was behind in tieing her shoes, learning certain colors (she kept mixing up red and blue) and doing buttons...but the ped said she was fine and some kids will excell in one area and be behind in others..i would let this go....

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 7:01 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • you can contact early intervention and give them her number. If you explain the situation they prob will contact her. I got my friend the info and gave it to her. She was a little hesitant but she called.

    Answer by Mrs.Oriaku at 7:12 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I would be hesitant to bring it up only b/c it does sound like she's not giving him enough attention, and she might get defensive and things get even worse. If you really want to bring it up, I'd try bringing it up in a way that sounds like just a casual conversation.

    "Hey, have you heard about this program they've developed? It's to help kids that are behind developmentally, gives them the skills they need to catch up. I think it's such a good thing. The local ______ is running it. I think that's such a great resource for kids that need it. What do you think?"

    Just kind of plant the seed in her mind, and if she runs with it, great, and if not, well, there's not a lot you can do. If she doesn't want the help, she won't take it even if you served it to her on a silver platter.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:56 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I just think this is really sad.... With her being lazy and not taking time with her child to teach and watch her child learn. My son has just turned 4yrs. old and he can read a book and count to 25 and or higher depending on if he is in the mood. He knows his colors and he will try to trick you about a color. This friend of yours seems selfish as he--.... I would be blunt with her. Is she a SAHM or does she work and or is she single? Not sure what type of life style she has here. I would ask her child in front of her about what color is this and ect. This might wake this person up knowing that her child is behind. I wouldn't hide the fact either... Jump in there and help this child and maybe it will show her it not so, bad hanging out with her child. Tell about this program if she is working she might need help... I hope everything works out... I would buy this child colors and all kinds of stuff....

    Answer by goldielock37 at 8:19 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • the thing is she knows he is behind. she says it.....she says things like " why arent you more like that little girl" when im around her with my daughter or "jeez 'name' your behind" i said name instead of his real name for privacy. so she realizes he is behind......she talks about it, her husband complains about it all the time and tells ppl how sick of his wife he is because she doesnt do a damn thing all day with the kids and the house is trashed and he's at his wits end. its to the point something needs to help themout...cause he is close to leaving her cause of her laziness and the kids arent happy either. all they do is cry, throw tantrums and scream or bang their heads on the wall....seriously. i trid reading him a book once, and he loved it...loved it....he ran over excited to his mom and showed her the book and said BOOK! after i taught him how ot say book, and she went mm hmm w/e and kept reading her magazine and CON

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • sorta blew him off. then she took notice we were watching her kinda like wtf and she went "oh yea thats a book, good" then back to her magaine and he started throwing a fit he was su upset.

    he is not dumb..he just needs attention. this program would ive him that, plus other kids around him etc.

    she is close to getting reported to child services too, i already know 2 ppl debating it. so they NEED help or else shits going to get bad for them

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Nov. 3, 2009