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is it normal for SAHM to feel like lonely single parents sometimes?

my DH works 2 jobs. he goes in at 10am till about 8pm then at 1045pm to 230am. I never really see him and when he is home he is either sleep or watching sports center. Even on the days where he dont have to be in until 12pm he sleep until 1130. Its annoying and irritating at times but what can I say. We only have 1 kid and she is 2. Ive been looking for a job about 6 months now with nothing going on. Im starting to feel like I just have a roommate. When he comes home, he doesnt say much, just get something to eat then flop in front of the tv until the 2nd job.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Nov. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I feel for you. I think you should focus on the positive and not the negative. Like he is working 2 jobs to support to support your family which allows you to SAH and keep the lights on. Believe me it is nothing like a single mom. I am you and him all in one.

    Answer by crvng4mr at 10:36 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • He must be exhausted, poor guy. It is normal for you to feel lonely and even irked. Your best bet is to get out more- make friends and meet them for play dates, or trade lunch dates once a week. Get involved in groups where you meet people and feel useful. That's how I got my present job, by the way. I took aerobics, and one of the other students was starting up a business and asked if I'd be interested, and I was. The more you get out and among people, the better chance of making contacts that will help you find a job. Good luck! Oh, to answer your question, my husband worked from 7 to about 8 or even later, and was gone the rest of the time on business trips, so sometimes I felt sorry for myself, but unlike single moms, I did have somebody bringing in an income and who took care of the car and yard work and so forth.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:36 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I agree with the poster who said to focus on the positive. My husband lives and works in another state (while he is in school). He is working his tail off so that I can stay at home with our children and he is missing out on SO much. He's missing watching the kids grow up, do new things, explore their world. He comes home once a month and cannot get over how much the kids change in that month. While you are missing him, he is missing you and your daughter. Try to get together with other SAHM's for play dates. Get involved in something so that you feel a little less lonely. Good luck!

    Answer by momof3inTN at 10:41 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I also agree with the first post. I am a single Mom and before I was divorced I used to think "I already do it alone so what's the big deal?" Well there is a HUGE difference. My ex worked full time and so did I. He worked early morning hours but went to bed at 6:30pm. I never saw him. His days off were during the week, I have a traditional monday - friday job. We rarely spent time together. BUT if there was a problem with the boys, when I got overwhelmed (or he did) we still knew the other one was there. Now that I'm a single Mom--it's ME. It's all on Me. Be thankful that he is taking care of the family!

    Answer by lissa27504 at 11:01 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • You're going to get bashed from single moms for this one. Yes, what you are feeling is normal, no matter what a single mom tells you. It's worse to be in a situation where you are married and supposed to have that companionship but don't because when he is not at work he thinks it's okay to ignore you for the t.v. At least they know where they stand. And just because he works does not mean you do not. No one has the right to tell a SAHM that her husband works so she can stay home and she should be grateful. That is absolute crap. A man's job does not end when he clocks out. It's wrong what your DH is doing but a lot of men feel like that. Keep looking for a job. Once you get out of the house too he might grasp what it's like to be lonely when he's at home with your child. I'm sorry to see another SAHM going through this. You're definitely not alone. Hang in there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • OP - feel free to PM me.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:58 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Anon: stop hiding. I don't see her getting bashed by "US" single Moms. Simply pointing out there is a difference between feeling lonely and married and feeling like a lonely single mom. As far as my statement of being thankful that he's taking care of his family----anyone that has a spouse that helps take care of the family should be thankful.

    OP: to answer your question simply--is it normal for SAHM to feel like lonely single parents sometimes? Of course...anytime you are by yourself it's normal to feel lonely and when your spouse is working or out of the home for any reason of course you are lonely.

    Answer by lissa27504 at 8:34 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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