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How to deal with unwanted advise

My son is 9 months and it seems like everywhere we go I'm being criticized for his size, crying, clothing.... He's small, until he was 6 months he was in the 10th percentile now he's in the 50th. When I take him out moms, grandmas just strange women will tell me I need to feed him this way, dress him this way blah blah blah. I'm always nice and smile but I'm just fed up. Last night we went to dinner with friends and my sons teething so we left him at home with a sitter, well one of the wives said "well we took our daughter everywhere no matter what". I had had 4 hours of sleep the night before we had three 30 min naps throughout the day, I was at my wits end! I could have strangled her. I guess I don't have a question just venting. I'm tired of people calling my son "peanut" and telling me to feed him more. Anyone else out there feelin me?

 
Christina2135

Asked by Christina2135 at 11:28 AM on Nov. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 7 (166 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • don't you hate it LOL--Everyone has to give their 2 cents worth, nice the mom who took her child everywhere--bet she didn't go many places ha ha! JUst blow it off, when he is a professional football player--they will know you fed him. Just curious do you solicit advice? Sometimes by being polite and saying something like oh what do you mean or what happened to you? That gives people the go ahead to tell you what to do, good luck mom!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:50 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • yep...my dd was a big baby and my ds is following right behind her and i get sick of ppl asking "what are you feeding them, miracle grow?"
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 11:31 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Just smile and nod and do whatever you want. There is nothing else you can do.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:33 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Its annoying I know! I had one lady ask me if I had pure cream because I was breastfeeding and she thought my baby was big! People are rude. I am sorry, you are probably doing a great job! Dont let it get to you!
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 11:35 AM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I have a friend of mine telling me that i need to make all of my sons baby food when he is a little oldedr. And not get the "crap in a jar" But i dont have the time to do that. Its fine if i get advice when i ask for it but other then that let me raise my kid and feed him how i want! geeze! lol. But i think that everyone goes through this. Every mom has to say what they did and how you should do it just like them. I have even cought myself doing it from time to time. But i tell them im sorry if i intruded in a place i shouldnt have. I mostly do it with my friends that just had kids. But i back of when i know im doing it. Its just i try to help with things that i know work with my son. But oh well. But im sure your doing everything that you know how to do and you ask when you dont lol. Way to be a GREAT MOM!! LOL
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 12:02 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • People are so rude. My son was the same way as yours when he was a baby. High up in the percentile until he got to not quite one year. I got so much criticism it was unreal. Everything from I needed to give him water when he was less than two months old to help with bowel movements to I just needed to throw our table food in the blender and not "waste" money on Gerber baby food to it was my fault he was skinny because I was on a special low fat, doctor guided diet the last three months of my pregnancy because of my gallbladder.

    That lady at dinner sounds jealous to me. She either never went anywhere when her daughter was a baby or had a difficult time lugging her everywhere. Good for you for being able to get out and enjoy yourself with your husband. Moms need that once in a while.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:08 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • My oldest has always been in the 10-15% in weight & height. I got tired of people asking me if he was a preemie. I finally started telling people "Both my DH and I were small, skinny children. Now we are average height and have never struggled with our weight. I'd be surprised if our son would be any different." Somehow that little speech shut people up.

    I did have one lady ask me if my son was malnourished, I wanted to strangle her. It does get easier as they grow older, though. Now they just mistaken my long-hair boys for girls. lol!
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 12:26 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • My twins were premies they weren't even on the chart until they were about 5. So yeah I got a lot of comments. I usually don't bother trying to change people. If I get really frustrated I used to say "well my pediatritian says they are doing fine, so until you get your medical degree and practice for a few years, I think I'll stick with her advice over yours."
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:49 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • ha.. Never gets old....!! I heard it all too - Oh i would NEVER let my son CRY It out. My son had colic, sleep issues, pooping issues, tummy pain, pinched nerves and the list goes on... so basically he cried ALL the time til he was well past one - i constantly heard it from people... plus, he's just like your son, small. He will be 2 on sat and is only 26lbs. this past summer... 2 -3 months ago he could fit in his 6month summer shorts from when he was a baby.... I am always chasing him with food - anyway - the point is you just either have to be firm about it or come up with some really good come backs.. it doesn't end - and people somehow feel it necessary to tell you how wrong you are ALL the time - know it all's..lol!! i think I stopped letting it bother be about 6 months ago -
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:04 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

  • Precede everything with "my doctor says..." even if you don't have a Dr. or he didn't say that.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 1:05 PM on Nov. 3, 2009

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